Humming for now, humming since forever.

This is all I have been humming all day, trying to cope up with the real speed of the track. In case you haven't heard it before, this is RHCP - Can't stop. 

The world I love 
The tears I drop 
To be part of 
The wave can't stop 
Ever wonder if it's all for you 
The world I love 
The trains I hop 
To be part of 
The wave can't stop 
Come and tell me when it's time to 

Sweetheart is bleeding in the snowcone 

So smart she's leading me to ozone 
Music the great communicator 
Use two sticks to make it in the nature 
I'll get you into penetration 
The gender of a generation 
The birth of every other nation 
Worth your weight the gold of meditation 
This chapter's going to be a close one 
Smoke rings I know your going to blow one 
All on a spaceship persevering 
Use my hands for everything but steering 
Can't stop the spirits when they need you 
Mop tops are happy when they feed you 
J. Butterfly is in the treetop 
Birds that blow the meaning into bebop 

Kick start the golden generator 

Sweet talk but don't intimidate her 
Can't stop the gods from engineering 
Feel no need for any interfering 
Your image in the dictionary 
This life is more than ordinary 
Can I get 2 maybe even 3 of these 
Come from space 
To teach you of the pliedes 
Can't stop the spirits when they need you 
This life is more than just a read thru 

I think this post is going to be a long one.. a really long one. (or maybe not.) So many things just happen at the flick of a finger! I had a long frustrating day at work last night and my welcome break met me right after. He is my only guy friend who says all those sweet things to me (Oh don't think is hitting on me!) and he is the one who comes to see me at my beck and call. He is the one who does not say how sick I look at the end of the day and proudly parades with me around the town with my ruffled hair and smudged kohl. He doesn't complain when I wear mad t-shirts and does not ask me to chuck my ugly laptop bag. He drives me home no matter how drunk, lets me ride his bike and lets me sing loud in the middle of a crowded street with my ugly voice. He shares ice-candy with me and tells me he knows that I wax. 

So anyway, now the world knows of the one nice friend I have here in this quaint little town! We went for a drink and decided to try the favorite drinks of rockers! We ended up guzzling "Screw Drivers" and the "Screw Drivers" screwed us! We were mighty drunk and 10 Kms away from home! I drove his bike and sang songs full pitch! He dropped me home, I had some yum dinner and went up to my room trying to crash. And then I get a call from the Randomer. Randomer was drunk and so was I. We spoke for about 3 hrs and he told me things that fuckin shook me. Shook me so bad that I could not sleep all night. While I went on and on about how I want to be a paint-scrapper, he listened to me with never-seen-before patience. He not once made fun of me and kept saying hmm. hmm. hmm. He even promised getting me a freakin spatula to help me scrape off the paint! Now that is what I call sweet as a pie. :)

After I was done and convinced I can be a paint-scrapper he decided to speak. And when he spoke, I heard. I heard with all the amazement and shock. He narrated first hand experiences about life. I saw him beyond being narcissus and a probable AIDS victim with his 23 girl friends history. I saw him beyond being a Mech Engg and beyond a stupid-but-dateable-city-lad. I saw the him who thanks God for all that he has. I saw him beyond being a great singer. And that is when I thought I should probably re-consider being a paint-scrapper. 

But wait, I could not consider that. I could still not convince myself being the big CEO with a dream car that I can't drive and rear kids who would probably be rich and spoilt brats and will curse their mother for being career oriented and for not giving them enough love and attention (all this in a car I would have bought for them!) I do not want to be a CEO because after I have become one, I will want to be a bigger, better CEO. 

I don't want to be the pseudo, hep, new-age Indian girl who is a CEO, drinks socially, smokes compulsively, hits men below their belt in board meetings with her power packed presentations. I don't want to be an ideal daughter, jet-setter, hi-flier with fancy apartment in downtown New York City. I don't want invitation passes to Yanni concerts. I don't want to wear that Black Gucci crisp suit and carry the latest Tommy Bag and go to Hawaii for a rushed vacation. 

I'd rather scrape paint off walls, wear plastic flip-flops, earn Rs 20 a day, eat for Rs. 5, save the rest 15 and make myself a mud house with my savings after 15 years. I just want to be a paint-scrapper in a village where the local doctor and the collector bring me books to read from the nearest town. Yes, that is what I want to be Randomer. Let me know when you have reached to the top of the Maslow's hierarchy theory. I wish you could gather the courage to be a clown. 

There is some more on my bucket list: 

First things first - dance on table top at a restaurant, with none other than Sree! I want to be a highway truck driver. I want to have a fleet of camels. I want to sell flowers by the street, I want to repair punctured tyres and weld windows. I want to paint walls and be a porter. 

Bucket list growing by the day and the day to kick the bucket is nearing! Guess I need to get to work! 

chuck me the guitar and I'll sing you a song...Let's dance like we used to, and you can giggle as I get the steps all wrong.

Yes, it's me getting all girl-like and melting... I read this beautiful poem and it's up here now! 

Follow the link: 

http://www.quizilla.com/poems/7937325/hey-cheer-up-girl

Lessons learnt at work

I am finally learning those nuances of running a business. I am glad I have landed up on a job that will teach me how to run my shop when I eventually have one! These are some management mantras I have learnt and I think it is a good idea to share it with the world. 

1. Winning is really the most loved, admired, valued and exciting in human life. Winning and

success are the two most coveted words in all battles of life, including business.

2.  The battle for number one is always between equals.

3. Diagnosis is the first step in any effort to create a winning organization. The mind–body framework is a

practical tool for energizing such a diagnosis. A strong ‘mind’, characterized by
a high level of collective ambition, requires a clear sense of purpose and a high
level of motivation. A strong ‘body’ provides the anatomy and physiology to
enable the organization to achieve what the mind wills”.

4. A firm in an ongoing competition needs both sustainable and temporal advantage. It needs the luxury of ‘to win without fighting’ to secure the strengths and stability of its leadership position.

5. Focused action requires compatibility of minds of the members of the team; particularly, under conditions of stress of a fierce competition or battle. Since the time is invariably too short to make a move or respond, high degree of cooperation among team members is necessary. The minds of Krishna and Arjuna were most compatible as they listened to each other willingly and attentively. It is the teams that win and not the individuals, howsoever bright .

What does 'It's complicated' mean??

That thing on facebook about relationship status? It's complicated. It has taken love and complications to a whole new level. With Orkut, you atleast knew if the other person is single or not (assuming they aren't blatantly lying!) But Facebook has complicated love matters even further by introducing 'It's complicated.' It could mean any of these:

 1. I am in a relationship which is a mess. I might break up any time soon. So watch out for this space. (coupled with my mood swing indicators it should give you a fair idea.)

 2. I have been dating this guy/girl for a while now. We even kissed the other day but that is it. We do not meet everyday. Sometimes he/she gets drunk and says these really sweet things but I am not too sure... 

 3. I really like this person and he/she seems to reciprocate too. But he/she is already seeing someone and they have a rocky relationship. So I am probably his/her rebound material. Gimme some time I ll figure it out and let you know. 

 4. He/She said we are done with this relationship. But we are still discussing. I think I like him/her but if he/she does not want it, I will explore my options... 

 5. I am hinting to that other guy/girl that I am available or soon will be. Anyway you are not in the pipeline, so dont worry about what 'It's complicated' means. 

 And the last one that Ashwini just told me - 

 'It's complicated' means it is a Yes for you and No for him/her or vice-versa! 

 So all you people with 'It's complicated' on your Facebook, tell me why do you say it is complicated and help the world uncover relationship statuses of some people!! 

I also want to..

play UNO with my girlies at Lonavla!! If you are a girl and do not have an all-girl gang, you should probably retrospect and find out what terribly went wrong! We went to Lonavla a few months ago - probably at the worst season to go to that place. It is a hill station and instead of doing one of those hill-station vacations, we sat at a Cafe Coffee Day outlet, playing UNO!! yeah, the UNO craze begin that day and I am spreading it around like conjunctivitis. I think of my days with them and I can see Gujju ben brushing her hair, mallu babe shouting at someone, olive smiling and figuring out sensibilities in the insensible and Mayu either going mad herself or driving one of us mad with her questions... I miss my girls and I can trade anything in the world for a game of UNO with them at a CCD. 

I want to do this and want it now!!!

You know what I really want? Like real bad??

Dump in my bag - a pair of shorts, t-shirts, slip ons, sunscreen, sun glasses and some travellers' cheques with my passport. Check in at an airport for a long distance flight, sit with my book at the check-in lounge and read a hillarious book and laugh my heart out. Then board the flight and read and drink and read and drink and crash. Get off the plane, stay in a shack and go by the beach and read again. Read till my eyes pop out, then go grab a drink and listen to some loud country music and walk out with a heavy head. Go back to my shack and crash and wake up the next morning and again sit by the beach and read again. Read till my eyes pop out, then go grab a drink and listen to some loud country music... 

One of these things first...

Ok so this song serves for my bucket list :) If you have not heard this before, let me know and I shall send it across, it is one song you cant miss!

I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook
A real life lover, could have been a book.
I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock
As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.
I could be
Here and now
I would be, I should be
But how?
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been
One of these things first.

I could have been your pillar, could have been your door
I could have stayed beside you, could have stayed for more.
Could have been your statue, could have been your friend,
A whole long lifetime could have been the end.
I could be yours so true
I would be, I should be through and through
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been 
One of these things first.

I could have been a whistle, could have been a flute
A real life giver, could have been a boot.
I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock
As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.
I could be even here
I would be, I should be so near
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been
One of these things first.

Bucket List

Hmm.. what is a bucket list? Simple - it is a list of things you would like to do before you hit the bucket, that is before you die. Yes, I know it seems like a very depressing blog item for someone like me. But the idea of having my bucket list is to make sure my bucket has very very few things if death had to come unexpectedly to me. I have decided to make a bucket list every now and then and do things on the list, just so that I live a (near) fulfilled life when I die. 

It is kinda strange I cant think of the items on my bucket list yet... but I am sure to edit this post often and put them up here. I think each one of us should write a bucket-list often, just so that we are living at least a part of this life for ourselves and not stuck fulfilling other people's wishes... 

Hmm.. so it is a fresh day and I am editing an existing post... Yes, I did think of somethings for my bucket list

1. Touch moon light.

2. Be a farmer for a day.

3. Scrape off paint from a wall.

4. Break glass tumblers...

[Do I look destructive?]

The loud-speaker has forced me to write a few words on Ganesh Puja. I am a festival lover you see :) 

Deva O Deva Ganpati deva tum se badhkar kaun? Aur tumhare bahkt jano mein humse badhkar kaun?

Oh Lord Ganesha, who is more divine than you? And who could be a more devout follower of you but me?

The rest of the bhajan/song/prayer/hymn is about convincing God to bless us.

Ganapati Bappa Mourya, Agle barasa tu jaldi aa! 

O lord Ganesha, grace us and come by a  little early the next year. 

The rest of the prayer is about summoning the God to arrive on this earth again around the same time the next year and bless us all immortal souls. 

The translations (which I seem to be bad at) cannot actually reflect the devotion with which Hindus summon to Lord Ganesha for blessings. Lord Ganesha is considered the God of Siddhi and Riddhi, that is spiritual and worldly perfection. 

Ganesh festival symbolises the beginning of festivals in the Hindu calendar. We Indians love festivals. And we have plenty. I mean P.L.E.N.T.Y. We are a (proud?!) secular country and we have enough festivals from all religions to keep us on our toes, celebrating and having a good time, for 365 days in a year. With festivals come sweets (calories), new clothes, (more expenses) and celebration(loud speakers)

Find attached a picture of the last day of the festival. This is a picture of the 10th day on which the idol is submerged into water and the festival ends. 

Beauty and the beast or Bhajans and the loud speakers.

I love the celebrations, new clothes, sweets and the life that Indian festivals bring along. But there are some superbly annoying things associated with festivals. For the last 6 days, a neigborhood pandal has been playing Ganpati Bappa Mourya, agale baras tu jaldi aa... (refer to my next post to see what it means, in case you dont know yet.)

We have laws preventing clubs from playing music, or for that matter, even staying open after 11 PM. Yes, after 11PM we all gather at the push-cart tea shop outside the railway station and eat Omlettes (Yuuum!) 

On new year's eve, we cannot play music beyond a certain decibel level and the cops, as soon as they kiss their loved ones (fellow constables) happy new year, are out on their jeeps, chasing 20 somethings out of party destinations. 

But come festivals! and you can break all rules! Afterall, who are those mortals a.k.a cops and law keepers, to stop us from showering affection on Him? In fact if they did, their dismissal letters are just a laddoo away. 

My ears are begging of me to give them a change of music. I tried playing Toxicity and other SOAD tracks on my music system since they are the loudest of the lot. But hell, no! the speakers invariably take over ALL the music around you and replace them with the same agale baras tu jaldi aa track. 

I love all this fun and truly respect your feeling of love and devotion towards beloved Ganesha... but have mercy on the patients at hospitals, have mercy on the mosque goers trying to woo their God of belief, have mercy on mothers trying to put their babies to sleep, have mercy on lovers trying to silently gaze at each other, have mercy on the oldies at the local library, have mercy on poor me, I am taking the GMAT in 4 days... 

These are the colors I love... and they are from my Mom's garden :)

Indian television - It's good you know!

Indian television is surely a notch above the rest. I remember this one month I spent at Europe and the frustration that TV brought along. First, there is no cable operator like in India, who will fix every cable related and small TV related problem for you. They have Set Top box or more popularly Sky TV (yes, the British version of Tata Sky, or is it the other way round?!) We did not have Tata Sky at home before I went to Europe, so operating 1 TV with 2 remote controls was quite a task for me. Oh was it 2 or 5? Yeah, the room had a remote control for the heater, for the DVD player, for the music system, the TV and for Sky TV. Phew! I spent an entire evening with my palms freezing outside the gloves (we Indians cant seem to do anything with gloves on!) but alas, I had not the faintest idea how to work the damn TV.

The next evening my friend came home (who had quite easily figured out switching on the flat screen monster) and we started surfing. There were many shows (read American idol, old episodes of friends and sex and the city - thats it.) There were about 60 channels playing either one of the 3 - All The Time. There was nothing else to watch. Again, my friend found for me a channel that would play hip-hop 24x7. And there too, no surprises, it was the same set of 5 songs. sigh!

And that is when, the me who cant stop saying how much I dislike TV, I started missing Indian television. The joy of Star Cricket, news on NDTV, Roadies on MTV, Boogie Woogie on Sony TV! Aah! man is that heaven!! I was desperate to the extent, some big bindis and zardosi sarees in a K serial-ish setting on TV would have made my day!

How can I forget the quintessential Indian advertisements? Authors' note: All ads in Europe were as if I was watching Asian Sky Shop. Ya, like what Bingo has tried doing, in a mocking way, is exactly how ads for packets of yucky looking potato wafers to the ads for washing machine are. That is when I appreciated Indian advertisements the most. I mean just see the latest Himani Pain relief ad, so symbolic of today's world.
The ad for an Insurance policy - Khwaab thode zyaada - it touches you somewhere. They know what we relate to. And the old dairy milk ad, remember? Kya swaad hai zindagi ka? Oh my God! now these are what I call advertisements. They are supposed to sell products, and they do!

Though I am back in India and it turns out I am not an Indian TV freak yet, I will still sign off saying - Long live Indian TV and the masala!

Yeah! That's me for you!

Yes, me in a nutshell! 

Fettish :)

There is no way I do not write about my newest fettish! Perfumes (Vain me - I am back!) Yeah, it started with Heathrow airport I guess... the fragrances, oh I literally wanted to break those bottles and drown in the scented water!

Well, I did not know what 80 pounds were, I mean I knew, but I did not realise what would that translate into, when I had to pay back my credit card bills in Indian rupees! And there I went on this perfume purchase spree. Hugo, David Beckham, Givenchy, Diesel... and that is it. I ran out of credit limit! I came back home to realise there were a bunch of my favourite people eyeing my expensive and sexy perfumes. So...so I decide to give them away! Well not all, I saved the Beckham and Givenchy for myself! 

And then I go to Marks and Spencer in India and pick up a cheap (vis-a-vis the Hugos and Beckhams) perfume, which I am terribly in love with. I do not have a day without its smell lingering on me.

Goodbyes have their advantages too! 2 of my friends gifted me Lacoste Touch Of Pink and I will thank them forever to introducing me to the smell of heaven. The exquisite pink bottle with the beautiful smell can give any man a tiny orgasm! Well, there is no chance my best-friends' gift of Jennifer Lopez Still will go unmentioned on this blog. I leave the fragrance behind on the smelly streets of India as I walk. So you can pretty much imagine what a beauty it is! 

There are loads of new perfumes on my wishlist. Click on the name and check out the beauties I plan to own soon!

1. Versace Bright Crystal

2. Premier Jour Nina Ricci

3. Calvin Klein Euphoria

Life begins when you start living.

I was retrospecting and trying to figure out how my 23 years of life have been. I was surprised that my meories are of only 10 of them. Where did the other 13 go? And that is when I realized, we are all essentially either surviving or living or dying - all the time.

Surviving - Eating, sleeping and being happy. 

Surviving is when you are a kid, you are fed food, sent to school, picked back, washed and freshened, sent out to play, forced to do homework and forced to bed. If you are lucky, you will have a few minutes of TV watching in the midst of all this. If you are unlucky (like me) you will have a few minutes of Doordarshan news to watch since your parents never thought of cable TV!

Living - Drinking, not eating and being happy. 

Living is when you are grown up, sent some money from home to bear expenses (if this part is missing - there is no point reading further. You have never really lived.) and from which you scringe for the next birthday gift to be given on the 29th of the month. This birthday gift can either be a music CD (to start with) or a half bottle of Absolut Pepper (as you grow up.) Living is looking longingly at that bunch of guys and girls, who you hope, will make friends with you. Living is realising that they made friends with you and you are eternally broke. 

Living is then spending quiet nights endlessly in your room, with a book to read. Living is waiting for your localite friends to call you over for 1 home-cooked meal. Living is meeting 8 other friends over 1 cup of coffee at CCD. Living is dying to go home and dying to go back when you go home. Living is writing the most popular competitive exam of your field. Living is standing outside that cheap thali joint for a sumptous meal. Living is sitting on your college parking-lot forever (and fighting with the parking boy saying you took care of your own bike, so you wont pay.) Living is recharging your mobile fone for 50 rs and giving your parents a missed call. Living is looking for the cheapest cyber cafe, since you are hooked to Yahoo Messenger. 

Living is writing your first resume (with nothing to write on it) and printing out 5 copies. Living is randomly looking for 'job opportunities' in Times Ascent. Living is learning what 'soft-copy' of resume is. Living is wondering how you will live after those beautiful 5 years. Living is packing up and doing everything 'one last time' - One last movie, one last dinner, one last chasing, one last 'meet up', one last re-union. 

Phase 2 of living is when you get a reply from your resume soft-copy. Living begins again and when you phone call them all about your proud job. Living is when you buy yourself 'formal wear' and go to 'office' and everthing out there seems awesome. Living is when you get your first, first ever salary. Living is taking a color-photocopy of the cheque and sending it to your parents. (and blowing the money therein on buying stupid gifts for all your best friends, best aunts, best cousins...) 

Living is making a new set of friends and going on endlessly about your phase 1 of living! Living is planning vacations since you have the money! Living is buying your mom a saree and dad a Reid and Taylor shirt. Living is the ecstasy of seeing your old friends and having them over for new years eve! Living is guzzling Long Island Teas on ladies' nite. Living is dying of your job after a while and living is looking for the next option. Living is resigning your job and counting how much you saved. Living is cuddling up beside your mom, the way you did just before you started living. 

Dying - It is loving. Dying is knowing that the best 5 yrs of your life, with which you are now madly in love with, are over. Dying is loving your college and leaving it behind. Dying is being asked out by the guy you no more have a crush on. Dying is when your best friends' boyfriend walks out on her - and you always thought they were meant to be. Dying is hoping someone else played you this song on the juke box, and not this guy. Dying is loving your sister so much that it aches to see her married. Dying is about all those big things of small consequence... 

Some more from my wealth of books...

By the river Piedra I sat down and wept - Paulo Coelho

I looked at the other, there in the corner of the room, fragile, exhausted, disillusioned. Controlling and enslaving what should really be free: her emotions. Trying to judge her future loves by the rules of her past suffering. 

But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice or dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck a fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love wherever we find it, even if it means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness. 

The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. And to save us. 

Jonnathan Livingston Seagull - Richard Bach

When you come to the edge of all light you have known, and are about to step out into darkness, faith is knowing one of the two will happen - There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught to fly. 

Reality is simply the name we give to our most cherished way of looking at the world. 

Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

As my visits with Morrie go on, I begin to read about death and how different cultures view the final passage. 

Fountainhead - Ayn Rand

Well, look at it. Every piece of it is there because the house needs it - and for no other reason. The rooms in which you'll live made the shape. The relation of masses was determined by the distribution of space within. The ornament was determined by the distribution of space, method of construction, and emphasis of the principle that makes it stand. Your own eyes go through a structural process.  When you look at the house, you can follow each step, you can see it rise, you know what made it and why it stands. But you've seen buildings with columns that support nothing, with purposeless cornices, with pilasters, moldings, false arches, false windows. You've seen buildings that look as if they contained one large hall, they have solid columns, and single solid windows six floors high. But you enter and find six stories inside. Or buildings that contain a single hall, but with a facade cut up into floor lines, band courses, tiers of windows. Do you understand the difference? Your house is made by its own needs. Those others are made by the need to impress. The determining motive of your house is in the house. The determining motive of others in the audience. 

*A thing is not high if one can reach it; it is not great if one can reason about it; it is not deep if one can see its bottom. 

* Illusory joy is often far more worth than genuine sorrow. 

* Love - The word is not enough for what it is

* Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it. 

* Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, it is knowing that they will pass away. 

* Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. 

* Those who look outside dream, those who look inside awaken.

Shakespeare in Julius Caesar- 

Cowards die many times before their death. The valiant never taste of death but once. Of all wonders that I yet have heard it seems to me most strange that men should fear; seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come. 

Detox - Back on popular demand.

I had a blog few years ago, which I eventually stopped using, since it had become more of an emotional vent than being a blog. On that blog I had posted something on the concept of detox. I detoxicated myself in a self propogated way. It was during the most transformative months of my life and it did help me lift myself up, when I was in pits. A lot of my friends have expressed interest in having the post back. So, here it is copy-pasted. 

Off late I went into a mind body detox. This is how I went about doing it:
Body detox: zero alcohol and zero tobacco.
Light food. Slightly hungry at any given point in time.
Mind detox: This required me to free my mind of all the conditioning that has happened to me in the past so many years. Especially, the conditioning that is not of a conscious nature. I tried to be more open towards criticism, avoid arguments, avoid small talk, distance myself from others and come closer to myself. I had to struggle in the initial days of doing so. What was more important than the struggle itself was the realization that we spend so much time worrying about trivialities. How we place others above ourselves by worrying about what they think about us or do to us. After all how much time in a day do we spend trying to figure our position in the complex matrix of all the people we know in these years we have lived?
Why do we not make best friends of the same intensity than what we had in our school or college days? That is merely owing to the fact that each breathing day we spend here, all we learn is to compare. Again that springs from our Endeavour to filter. Filter the people in our life based on our preferences like as if we were buying a pair of shoes. Eventually we filter the chosen friends in such a way that we accept them only in parts. Where is the friend in totality whom we would accept for the way he or she is?

The other thing that put me to thought was the fact that we spend so much of our life arguing, trying to put our point forth, trying to make the other person believe what we believe in. where is the whole point in debating? I remember I used to take pride in the fact that I would win all the debate competitions that I participated in while I was in school/college. I realized that I was taking pride in the mere fact that I was a bigger fighter than most of the other people, that I could force a panel of judges in believing that I have researched more than my peers have and that I have the art of jabber whereby I can outdo the other person by modulating my tone and voice. Victory would have been when I could convince the other party in debate in accepting my belief and not finishing my point before the bell went off. The wiser thing is to indulge into a discussion or even better a dialogue where we enter with an open mind. We speak so as not to give but to receive, wherein I am not trying to make you buy my beliefs whereas I have come to attain a new perspective by looking at things the way someone else looks at them. And of course give them a new angle. In this process not only do I grow as an individual, I also help someone else. So this is the development of not one individual but many by retaining originality.

After all how important is the validity stamp? How often has ecstasy and euphoria been the effect of a cause involving more than one person other than you yourself?

Sahaja Yoga

I have been thinking of doing Yoga since eternity. I also came across a few Sahaja Yoga centres here. I want to go register at one of them. Sahaja Yoga, as described on its website, is a unique method of Yoga based on the concept of self-realization. Through this process an inner transformation takes place by which one becomes moral, united, integrated and balanced. I am a staunch believer of transformation through balance. So, here it is! 

Tentative date - 1st October. 

Food for thought.

There are these really awesome things I keep coming across: while I read, while I surf or even while I listen to music. Sometimes I write them down on a piece of paper, sometimes in my diary and sometimes save it as drafts on my Gmail ID! I thought it is a nice idea to add them to my blog, so that whoever lands up here, gets to learn something while passing by my way. So here it goes:

1. This is from the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. 

• Life's metaphors are God's instructions. 
  
• You have just climbed up and above the roof. There is nothing between you and infinite. Now let go. 
  
• The day is ending. It is now time for something beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now let go. 
  
• Your wish for resolution was a prayer. You being here is God's response. Let go and watch the stars come out - on the outside and on the inside. 
  
• With all your heart, ask for grace and let go. 
  
• With all your heart, forgive him, forgive yourself and let go. 
  
• Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering. Then let go. 
  
• Watch the heat of the day pass into cool night. Let go. 
  
• When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go. 
  
• When the past has passed from you at last, let go. Then climb down and begin the rest of your life. With great joy. 
  

2. This one is I think from the movie Rocky Balboa. Please correct me if I am wrong. 

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that"

3. I read this in some MBA prep forum. 

It all boils down to the debate of Ends v/s means .The end can always justify the means. But each and everything you do may not be focused towards achieving the means.

Achieving the End is like the Tour de France. You may not win every stage, you may not always wear the yellow jersey, but in the end the one who endures and comes out on top collectively is the Winner.

Lots more to come, as of now just published those that were saved in my drafts :)

Discovering Bhopal!

So me and my dad have been discovering the town and it has been great fun so far. This one evening we went discovering soup stalls. 

We went to this place called 'Cycle soup.' It is a typical road side stall with the yummiest food on earth. We savored our soups (sweet corn for me and the same ol' tomato for daddy.) and got thoroughly confused about the main course. This guy had the ultimate Indian road-side delicacies on his menu, chhole bhature, kulcha paneer makhani, pav-bhaji, sandwiches, burgers (Indian style, but of course) and loads of other pulaos and naans with sabzis to mix and match. As always, me and mom wanted the same thing for both of us. And this time it was pav-bhaji. 

When he brought the food, I was mad at the chotu for bringing our servings (mine and mom's) in the same plate - and then I see my mom with another plate of pav-bhaji and trying to figure out how will she ever finish it. So basically the food on 1 plate was more than enough for two. 

Dad's BURGER! Yeah, that steals the cake! It has the tastiest Dhaniya-pudina chutney of the world, a huge patty and loads of cheese and cucumber slices. Yes, the quintessential India burger was here! I swore on God, I will never ever spend money at McDonald for that little burger which even has VAT charged on it. The mighty cycle-soup wale ka burger was a meagre 20Rs!

There is more to come on my blog about Top 'N Town Ice-cream (The Naturals' version for Bhopal) Arya Bhavan (The North-Indian Udupi hotel) and Manohar Dairy! 

Why God why?!?

I get a scrap on Orkut which reads "I guess you like to do sweet friends like me."

Oh like what?! Do you even know what it means to 'do' friends?! damnit! I dont do friends man! Why can't people write straight English or scrap in Hindi? Google has given an option of Hindi scrapping and it is our national language. Use it man, but dont for God's sake ask me if I DO my friends! FYI - I DONT!

I want a 700 or I want to throw a tantrum.

Oh well, so predictable of a girl sitting at home dreaming of joining an MBA college - a 700+ GMAT score. Yes. That is what I want. Most of my friends (who ironically happen to be very very intelligent) think this is not a 'want' big enough to appear on a blog. This is a perfectly do-able task - is what they say. I am starting to believe I will get my Hummer before this score (which seems as humongous as a hummer itself.) By industry standards* I am not even preparing for 4 hours a day. What do you think I am doing industry? [industry responds - "panicking"] A quick background - they (industries) say 4 hrs a day for about 2 months is good enough to get you a 700+. You know I got those good grades in school. Now I am thinking does intelligence works on the diminishing values theory? Anyway that's besides the point.

The point being - I want to behave like one of those disgusting little toddlers who throw their hands around demanding toys/chocolates/clothes/balloons and such other stupid things. I want to sit at the ISB campus and throw my hands around and scream - I WANT!!! I WANT ADMISSION!

(Picture the conversation -

Admission council - "But lady, you got no scores and no degree to be proud of!"
Me - " I CARE A DAMN! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT!"
Admission council - "God what an irritating kid! Go child, here is your admission letter"
Me - "YAYYYYY!!!" Thanks!!! Mwaaaaah!"

Dreaming is free you see! )

*Industry standards refers to PaGalGuy and bretherin.
A special note of thanks to Sunny a.k.a Ritvik Mathur for listening to me in the midst of all the BRBs!

Diets bring you so close to reality! See what I want now

Well you cannot imagine how glad I am I have this blog to shout out and tell the world what I REALLY want! I want to eat dal-chawal, rabri, mal-pua, rajma, jeera-rice, pad-thai, maggi, aloo-paratha... basically anthing that is calorific, unhealthy - and thus very very tasty. No surprise, I am on a diet! And I think some spirituality can help here. I am telling myself - Sab Maya hai - it is all a farce. I am happy dieting, I feel light (starved) and healthy (un-greased.)

What I also want to do.. well 'want' is an understatement, it is more like what I am longing to do, is to ride around some town, sit at a coffee shop with my book, a hot fresh capuccino, a packet of milds to keep me company and just watch the world pass by. And then as the evening sets, make a few phone calls and meet my friends at the club that has ladies' night (read- free liquor) and is playing bollywood music! You say I am dreaming? I say I am longing to re-live that which I gave up for this. What a mortal soul I am, never being in the present and trying to re-live the past and build the future.

But hey wait! its cool, I think! At least I am not perpetually grieving! [or maybe I will, at this rate of blogging, reading and not studying, a 650 in GMAT is all I think I will get and will spend the rest of my life cursing this poor blog!]

The daily log:

1. Finish reading my books faster - well, this is a sad one :( I always boasted of finishing my books the fastest. 'If Jinu's got it, the book is finished' was how it was. And now, I barely read 10 pages a day. In fact this is not just a part of my daily log, it is something I want to retain all my life. No matter how busy I never want to be too busy to read.

2. The elusive 760 in GMAT - I started preparing for GMAT thinking its gotta be a 760. But here I am today, wondering if I will ever cross 700. My friends say I am a psycho to be freaking out at this rate. But I truly actually believe it is not half as easy as they say it is...

3. Oh well, just for future reference, it is 19th Aug today, less than a month to tame the beast called GMAT and I am busy blogging. The daily log for today is to finish all sentence correction Qs from OG :P

Places I want to visit -

1. The El-Che route - Yes, traveled by legendary Che Guevara. I want to feel what Che did en-route, on his bike. That would be Argentina-Chile-Peru-Ecuador-Colombia-Venezuela-Panama-Miami. Essentially, the entire South America. Does it not sound exciting? If there is any Alberto Granado that is anyone who would like to do this stretch with me, let me know and we can plan our travelogue. I definitely dont want to do this alone!

2. Naples - This place gave the world Ice-cream and Pizza! It is in the south of Italy and is home to beautiful instruments like the Mandolin.

3. Sicily - The rape victim of Italy. I want to go there just to believe there is beauty in breakdown.

4. Slovenia - No better place to see the Alps and Meditteranean in the same place. Also I ve heard they have good wine there.

The Long Terms - take your time but don't be late!

Wish-list date - Aug 10, 2008.

Ok, so the year 2012 is a bench-mark year of my life. I want to accomplish quite a bit by then. This is a precise list of all that I want to do by then or in that year.

1. Go to London to watch the inaugural event for Olympics - What they did in China was spectacular and what London can do is beyond my imagination. With that, my only option is to visit London and watch it live - and probably get goose bumps all over - like I always do with almost anything.

2. Go to Wimbledon to watch the Men's finals - I watched this year's Men's finals with my best friend, who taught me the nuances of Tennis. Gripping as the match was, we decided it is something to be watched live. Typical Indian that I am, I will miss the face-painting, loud T-shirt, banners etc that are an integral part of live Indian (read cricket) audiences. That said, sophistication is worth trying. I'll give it a shot. Why 2012? Well, honey, where is the money to go before that? ;-)

3. Speak to a VC to fund my mega book-store chain - Now THIS is not just a wish. It is a dream. An aim. Yes, I always wanted a book-store of mine. Actually I always wanted a private-library. A huge one. Then I realised a library will not be for everyone. The idea of getting hundreds of books at one place is not to pile them. I mean where is the point in collecting them if you can't spread the knowledge? Then I thought I will open a public library. (with the slogan - Read till you pass out. Bad?) But the public library won't happen till age 50 - to say the least.

So the current plan is to first sell books for a few years and then have community libraries (I was even thinking if the Govt will let me convert these old haunted forts into beautiful libraries...)

4. Buy mom and dad a swank new house in the city of their choice - My parents have been buying and selling (their own) houses like a real-estate agent. Ironically, at an age when they are about to retire, they do not have a house of their own...yes a middle-class Indian family that is badly hit by the booming real estate costs. The least I can do for them is gift a 2 bedroom apartment that they can proudly call theirs.

The next few, might take forever or might just happen in a few months - but either way, I am not complaining!

1. Europe trip - all alone.

Weird, isn't it? People like going to Europe with lovers/friends. That's the whole point. I want to be with myself (my best friend and the love of my life - me) for a few weeks and live the exotic world. Alone. I won't have to go back because 'X' is tired. I won't have to eat because 'X' is hungry. I won't have to wear warm clothes because 'X' thinks it is freezing. I won't have to stand near a fountain and smile for 'X's' camera because 'X' thinks it will look good on my foto-frame etc etc...

(Is it too difficult to figure out who all can replace the variable 'X' here?)

2. Vegas - with my girlies.

Totally! We gonna blow it up chic-style! Me and my girls have always wished since our college days that we will do a fancy trip somewhere someday. They do not know that I have already decided the place. My journo friend (perenially broke and a psycho) will hate the idea. My gujju friend (with loads of money) will go mad shopping before she goes and will again mad shop at Vegas and all the places en-route. I am glad she hasn't been to Singapore, else poor 'her dad'... My mallu babes - Dubai settled boss! They WILL come! My sweetest, quietest advertising chica, she will come to hell with me, what's Vegas?

3. A Black Hummer H2 - Damn! what a hottie! Yes that mighty black 4-wheel! I have loved it ever since I first saw it. Also, I eventually want to own a fleet of hummers and have drivers drive them around for desert safaris at Dubai! (Aaha! what a life that would be!) And yes, this one will sure take time!)

4. Meditate at the Osho Ashram - If home is where the heart is, then Poona no doubt is home for me. I spent the 6 best years of my life in Poona and 1 thing I did not, or rather could not, do was spend time at the Osho Ashram. I want to be a part of this cult and experience what it is like to lead an Osho life. It is definitely beyond wearing maroon chogas!

What wants?

Ok, so a point to note right now would be - This is my 'wordly' wishlist. Whether achieving salvation is in my wishlist or not is completely confidential information. So if you read my blog and stamp me as - Material girl from a material world - Too bad. You don't know me.

So what will my blog look like? I will have in here all my wants - Anything and everything I want to do. Be it where I want to go, what I want to accomplish, what I want to buy or even what I want to read!