I bend but I do not break.

I am copy-pasting an email I received. That's me and tonnes of my 20-something friends' lives in a nutshell. Tell me if you relate to it. :)

Being Twenty-Something.


They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going

along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things

about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start

feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but

then get scared because you barely know where you are now.



You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those

friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the

greatest people you have ever met. And the people you have lost touch

with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is

that they are realizing that too- and aren't really cold, catty, mean

or insincere- but that they are as confused as you.



You look at your job- and it is not even close to what you thought

you would be doing. Or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing

that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.



Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and

find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize

that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly

adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.


One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and

cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared

and confused.



Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past

with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and

further away. And there is nothing to do but stay where you are or

move forward.



You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do

such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet

anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you

love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you

are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting

wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.



You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk

with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to

make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a

life for yourself. And while winning the race would be great, right

now you'd just like to be a contender!



What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as

we can to figure this whole thing out.



Send this to your twenty-something friends- maybe it will help

someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion... "I

bend but I do not break."

What do you think about love? Important and Irrational or Not-so-important and rational?

I am most definitely not the right person to talk about love in the truest sense of it, the kinds they talk about in books -  considering I've always been in 'walk-in-walk-out' relationships (romantically) and I value my platonic relationships wee bit too much to be able to write about them.

 

But given the fact that most of the world lives in a practical world of love where one's choice of lover is based on a complex matrix of compatibility, or in more crude terms - convenience. Career and family compatibility, value-system compatibility, status compatibility, tolerance-compatibility, sense of settlement compatibility and a whole bunch of such factors. I very well understand (and respect the fact)  that these factors vary in importance for different people but the crux remains the same - it  is the long term compatibility based on ones limits and limitations.

 

I am a staunch believer of this matrix. Only because I have one life and I want to spend it living completely rather than loving mindlessly. As long as I can peacefully co-exist with certain constants like respect and space, I think the love et al falls into place. I've never heard of real Romeo-Juliet /Laila-Majnu/Heer-Ranjha couples. Honestly,  the real-life couples with most dramatic and awww(e)-inspiring stories are based on the (not-so-simple) compatibility/comfort level matrix! So why bother much?

 

Anyway why did I go explaining this? Because each time I read a book that describes love in a very heroic way, it leaves me bewildered. When passages talk about love with such passion, I am left wondering what it must be like to be in such love. (Disclaimer: I don't want to be in such destructive love where lovers can kill or die or go mad or disown or forget-it-all. I am happy feeling jitters and butterflies every now and then choosing to walk in if it is nice and walk out if it was too much hassle for the 2 of us!)

 

I've always written down those passages (among other beautiful passages) from books into my little red-colored spiral note-book --- to use it as a text for reference. I've been an utter failure in understanding/imbibing those feelings but I have taken the pain to type them out and put them up in my new blog, here. 

That is because they sound amazing and make for some literary delight. Some of these stories are brave, some docile, some plain-romantic, some meaningless - but they are just beautiful pieces of text. In fact some of them are close to real feelings too! (I am not a die-hard romantic but girl-enough to feel special things!)

 

If any of you can relate to the passages out there, do leave a comment! Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did!

 

(Clearly, my own answer to the question in the title is - important and rational)

 

Of a book and a crazy nook - the new blog.

So the new blog is here! This is by far the most meaningful thing I have done, at least on webspace and I hope people take a lot of interest in it. 

Again, as mentioned in my last post, if you read something interesting and think people at large can benefit from it, please send it across to me (via email/comments anything) and I shall post it on the blog. 

I hope you enjoy reading this new blog it just as much as I enjoy writing it! 

BRB

P.S: Inspired by J 

The trick is growing up without growing old.

I turn 24 today. Yes, it's my birthday. And I also know I don't look half as thrilled as I do in the rest of my posts - which are about nothing special. Somethings I want to tell everyone today - 

I am not scared of ageing. Not only am I accepting it with grace, I am also starting to believe that  growing up/old is not such a big deal. In fact I think there is something terribly wrong if one is NOT growing up or old.

I am not having such a great day - not because I am not drinking, but because I am busy handling my dad's midlife crisis. All ye 20 somethings, trust me it is worse than quarter life crisis. So get geared for worse times to come.

I have a new blog, something on which I've been writing for a while but was waiting for this day to sort of go public. That's the introspection blog. Check it out here if you want to. 

I am writing all this today because I am on vacation for the next ten days and I don't know when I'll get to write next! Here's a whole bunch of quotes on ageing/growing up/growing old that I found and I think are nice - 

As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened that we just can't.

Do everything. Love as much as you can. it may hurt but it helps us grow. Give all you have...you may be poor but you will be content. Always forgive....your heart can not afford not to. Teach what you know and learn what you don't. Stay open to all.

"You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 

--Abraham Lincoln

Now I'm growing and I can see my faults. I can look at myself objectively and say I can't blame anyone else; it was my own damn fault.
--Christopher Atkins 

" 'Age' is the acceptance of a term of years. But maturity is the glory of years."
-- Martha Graham

Read only if you are ready for some heavy dope!

Read this only and only if you have enough time and you are ready for some more ponderables in your already complex life! 

 

I was re-reading Sartre's Being and Nothingness. Just thought I'd punch a few views here and give some people some food for thought.  

1. Choice represents a limit on freedom within an otherwise unbridled range of thoughts. Subsequently, humans seek to flee our anguish through action-oriented constructs such as escapes, visualizations or visions (dreams) designed to lead us toward some meaningful end, such as necessity, destiny, determinism (God), etc. Thus, in living our lives, we often become unconscious actors — Bourgeois, Feminist, Worker, Party Member, Frenchman, Canadian or American — each doing as we must to fulfill our chosen characters' destinies.

2. Many relationships are created by people's attraction not to another person but rather how that person makes them feel about themselves by how they look at them. This is a state of emotional alienation whereby a person avoids experiencing their subjectivity by identifying themselves with "the look" of the other. "The look" of the other found the person's own being. The consequence is conflict. In order to keep the persons own being the person must control the other but must control the freedom of the other "as freedom". These relationships are a profound manifestation of "bad faith" as the for-itself is replaced with the others freedom. The purpose of the participants is not to exist but to keep the other participant looking at them. This system is often mistakenly called love but is in fact nothing more than emotional alienation and a denial of freedom through conflict with the other. 

(I have read this book twice and it has helped me detach myself in a somewhat escapist way. Though against my school of thought, it has helped me gain perspective. It has helped me affirm my own views by discarding the philosophy. I would recommend it if you are ready for some serious reading and microspection.)

The quintessential question

Buds taggged Sree and the one thing that crosses Sree's mind (and the minds of most 23 and above Indian girls) deserves to be addressed on my blog! She says - 

"What's the fixation with marriage and right age vs marriage and right person?"

Exactly! In fact I think it is more like a fixation with "marriage at the right age with the right person"

No, just think about this - how much burden it is, to find the right person at the right time and do the maybe right or not-so-right thing with him/her - that is get married! 

And the right time is also the right time to finish higher education, it is also the right time to save money, to travel, to give love to friends and family, it is the right time to do things to your heart's content and above all, the ONLY right time to discover who you are! Imagine fitting so many things into the same time-slot! What do you do with the rest of your life, damnit! Raise pigs?

And talking about the right person! Now, this is tricky! The definition of right person has changed so often in the past and has become so rigid now, that I have almost given up on finding the 'right' person. I have moved from finding the 'waiter at my college canteen' to 'the guy I spoke to for 3 mins 20 secs on my last drunken night' as being right for me. Beat that. Buds asked me what I want from my guy and I went to such fine details, it looked like I was getting a saree embroidered. She finally said I was unrealistic! If I tell what is it that I want in that 'right' person, you will take 4 seconds to tag me lesbian. So I won't even get there. 

Marriage - The last part of the drama! The time is right* and the boy is right*. Does anybody ever ask is the concept of marriage itself right? No, I am not a commitment phobic or a 'radical-for-the-sake-of-it' trying to doubt the credibility of an age old concept. My parents probably have the most beautiful wedded life in the world - 30 yrs of crazy mad love. And I am very sure I want it too. But that said, do you gamble with something so sacred/beautiful/dangerous and place it on the matrix of time and resources?

Well, I am glad I am faced with all this but in a superbly moderate way and I easily have a couple of years more to seek answers. Phew! 

* Definitions: 

Right time - Varies from 23 to 27 (based on whether you are Punjabi, South Indian, Bengali, Marwari etc.)

Right guy - Slightly more educated than the girl or at least equally well educated. Not too many unmarried siblings. A nice fat pay packet, decent looking (Parents consider moustache a plus point, if they are South Indians.) Again, the definition of right guy varies from region to region. Typically:

Northie - Own business, Owns a swank car and preferably a house of his own. Definitely parental property. 

Southie - "Hello. My name is Raj Shekhar. I am from REC Suratkal/IIT Bombay/IIM Bangalore/ISB/NUS/Kelloggs. I am working for Oracle/Sun Micro systems/Wipro/Infy/Microsoft. I have an elder bro/sis (married, settled in the US) I have a green card/I'll be moving to the States in a couple of months."

And the age old concept of company t-shirt and laptop bag! (Yuck!!)

Disclamier - No offense to anyone here, just penned down the trends I have noticed! 

One wish and then it's all Sex and the City

Wish - Ride on a car/jeep roof, again. (We did it so often back then and I am dying to do it again!) 

Sex and the city  - They don't air it on TV anymore here in India. I was looking for episodes to watch online and I saw that loads of websites have these awesome quotes from the serial. Here are the ones which I always had loved - 

"Despite the fact that there are over eight million people on the island of Manhattan, there are times you still feel shipwrecked and alone. Times even the most resourceful survivor would feel the need to put a message in a bottle, or on an answering machine."

(I swear!)

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

(And those someones seize being that someone after the first date!)

"I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it."

 (That's almost me talking!)

"That's the thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met, you don't need them anymore. "

(Exactly! That's why the thrill of chasing!)

“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”

(When? When you finished tenth grade.)

"After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away” 

(So damn true and I am so glad I am the luckier kinds!)

"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies."

(Sounds familiar...nah?)

Love fuels.

This is the last para of a beautiful blog post - 

* The 'he' is the author's husband Chris.

"It isn’t an extraordinary story.  We aren’t extraordinary people.  We haven’t experienced extraordinary things.  But I know that he loves me and that I love him and that nothing in my life would be possible if it weren’t for him standing next to me.  Sometimes when we’re cuddled up in our pjs and socks and surrounded by our dogs and everything is perfect I ask him why he loves me.  He never has an answer.  He always says, “I don’t know.  I just do.”  I used to give him a hard time.  What a lame answer to such an important question.  But when I think about it, there is really no other possible answer to that question.  I don’t know why we love eachother.  I don’t know why I laugh in the middle of yelling when we are fighting.  I don’t know why when I pull into my driveway at night and see Chris’ car parked I still feel those same butterflies I felt in high school and his blue Mustang pulled up in front of my house."

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This is Chris's comment on the post: 

"Well from all that talk it sounds like your a pretty lucky lady… 

I can’t believe we are still going, but I couldn’t think of anyone that is more fun to share each and every day with. I wouldn’t give you up for the world. I love you more everyday.

….now if I could just convince you to channel all of this love into something productive like doing the dishes…. Hmmm….. i need to work on that…"

This is the link to the blog: http://marriageconfessions.wordpress.com/2008/12/05/the-greatest-little-love-story-ever-told/

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Why am I blatantly copying? 

Because the blog post is beautiful and lot of people can get 'awww!' and 'puppy-like' on reading this. It might prompt some people to pick up their phone and call their loved one they fought with. It might prompt some people to go to the next room and kiss their partner. It might prompt some people to pick up their love from work this evening. It might prompt some people to book a cozy table for 2 at their high-school cafe. It might prompt some people to confess love to someone and start a brand new love-story. 

Plagiarism? It's worth it. 

Yeah, it is always only words for me!

Just a few verses from here and there... Punched them in because I liked them at one point or the other! Guess the songs, it should be fun!

But the suns been quite kind while I wrote this song
Its for people like you that keep it turned on

If I were a boy

I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think
that I was sleeping alone

Think I've mistaken you for somebody else

Somebody who gave a damn

Somebody more like myself

But love is not a victory march 

it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah 

it's not a cry that you hear at night 

it's not somebody who's seen the light 

it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah 

It's like meeting the man of your dreams

... and meeting his beautiful wife! 

And if you want to leave, I can guarantee you won't find nobody else like me! 

I am singing, follow me! 

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you cant get

Desperado, why dont you come to your senses? 
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin, but theres a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before its too late...!

Chuck Norris - For all mortals...

And you don't know who Chuck Norris is? That already warrants a law suit against you. This is your last chance to redemption. So read this properly! 

Chuck Norris is an American Martial Artist born on March 10, 1940 and known for his rough and tough image in movies like Texas ranger. So after the Vin Diesel fact Generator series (Assuming you know this at least!) people churned out Chuck Norris facts, which are as absurd as absurd can get. They are immensely popular and here are some of my all time favs! 

• If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  
• There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  
• Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
  
• Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
  
• Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
  
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  
• Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
  
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  
• Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  
• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

HAIL CHUCK NORRIS! 

When Linkin Park sang...

I watch how the moon sits in the sky 
On a dark night shining with the light from the sun 
The sun doesn't give light to the moon 
Assuming the moon's going to owe it one 
It makes me think of how you act to me 
You do favors and then rapidly 
You just turn around and start asking me about 
Things you want back from me

Linkin Park said this in the track 'A place for my head'. 

I was thinking to myself... If the Sun did in fact one day say to the moon that the moon owes moon light to the sun, what does the moon have to give back? Answers anyone? Post comments, I will look forward to an answer. 

Of start-ups and hiccups...

I came across this beautiful write up on Subroto Baghchi's blog. It talks about start-ups and how things happen or ought to happen. I guess none of my usual visitors can draw much sense out of it yet, but if you were working for a start-up, like I am, then you would be in a better position to appreciate what I have copy-pasted below: 

Three people do not build a corporation; they build a 10-people team. That team in turn goes on to build another team of ten. So, spend significant time on the strategic vision with all the senior hires. Pay attention to the on-boarding process - it begins well before the person actually comes on board. Do not wait until the joining date. From the time you have made up your mind on the right person, keep engaged and involved with exchange of ideas, information and advice until he or she actually comes on board. This is obviously within the boundaries of business sense - you do not want to take risks in matters of intellectual property either way - make sure you are not compromising yours nor are you contaminating someone else’s. After all, the person is still not part of your organization and until someone has been “badged in”, there are limits to how far you can go.

Finally, the start-up gets into stage 3 of its orbit. It is no longer a rag-tag army - or a bunch of toddlers. Now the organization has people, customers, multiple branches, systems and processes. Probably the organization is three years old!

It is time now to shed some and gain some. Taking on from Arjun, Mohinish recommends that the original team now must shift from an overwhelmingly inward focus, to an external one.

This is the time to pay attention to building a strong middle-management; it is time to focus on the robustness of operations.

Original teams rely strongly on innovation, finding solutions on the fly, trying out things never tried before and using the inventive capacity all the time.

Now, innovation alone would not do, you must build domain capability as well. Imagine you are a company that started in the wireless area. Now you have to say what you do in wireless for automotive sector, wireless in medical sector or wireless for entertainment application development! The kind of teaming required in the early stage and what you need now to build bodies of expertise are going to be very different.

Going forward, this is also the time that you have to be choosy about the kind of culture you want to take with you.  All that worked before, is not going to work going forward.

In the beginning, every one pitches in. That is what built energy, camaraderie and the romantic concept of the garage! Things now must get systematic; people cannot just be doing heroic stuff all the time. People must build respect for groups and not just individuals. Quite often, as the transition happens, the original group feels disenchanted - people miss their childhood, so to speak, and cling on. Childhood days may be beautiful but imagine remaining growth-stunted!

Teams must collectively move on; in the process they must shed some old behavior and adopt new best practices. Arjun Erry was looking at issues related to acquiring key talent that completes the team. In doing so, he underlined the importance of always going the extra mile to hire the “A” players. It is tough selling, but often the most critical first step in giving booster power to the rocket. Why “A” players? “Because”, “A”s hire “A”s, then the “B”s come. What do the “B”s do? They go and hire the “C”s. Before you know you have diluted the genetic pool of the organization and that can well mean the difference between a high performance company and just another start-up.

You can read the write-up in entirety out here: 

http://www.mindtree.com/subrotobagchi/of-start-ups-high-performance-teams-part-2/#more-48

Humming for now, humming since forever.

This is all I have been humming all day, trying to cope up with the real speed of the track. In case you haven't heard it before, this is RHCP - Can't stop. 

The world I love 
The tears I drop 
To be part of 
The wave can't stop 
Ever wonder if it's all for you 
The world I love 
The trains I hop 
To be part of 
The wave can't stop 
Come and tell me when it's time to 

Sweetheart is bleeding in the snowcone 

So smart she's leading me to ozone 
Music the great communicator 
Use two sticks to make it in the nature 
I'll get you into penetration 
The gender of a generation 
The birth of every other nation 
Worth your weight the gold of meditation 
This chapter's going to be a close one 
Smoke rings I know your going to blow one 
All on a spaceship persevering 
Use my hands for everything but steering 
Can't stop the spirits when they need you 
Mop tops are happy when they feed you 
J. Butterfly is in the treetop 
Birds that blow the meaning into bebop 

Kick start the golden generator 

Sweet talk but don't intimidate her 
Can't stop the gods from engineering 
Feel no need for any interfering 
Your image in the dictionary 
This life is more than ordinary 
Can I get 2 maybe even 3 of these 
Come from space 
To teach you of the pliedes 
Can't stop the spirits when they need you 
This life is more than just a read thru 

chuck me the guitar and I'll sing you a song...Let's dance like we used to, and you can giggle as I get the steps all wrong.

Yes, it's me getting all girl-like and melting... I read this beautiful poem and it's up here now! 

Follow the link: 

http://www.quizilla.com/poems/7937325/hey-cheer-up-girl

Lessons learnt at work

I am finally learning those nuances of running a business. I am glad I have landed up on a job that will teach me how to run my shop when I eventually have one! These are some management mantras I have learnt and I think it is a good idea to share it with the world. 

1. Winning is really the most loved, admired, valued and exciting in human life. Winning and

success are the two most coveted words in all battles of life, including business.

2.  The battle for number one is always between equals.

3. Diagnosis is the first step in any effort to create a winning organization. The mind–body framework is a

practical tool for energizing such a diagnosis. A strong ‘mind’, characterized by
a high level of collective ambition, requires a clear sense of purpose and a high
level of motivation. A strong ‘body’ provides the anatomy and physiology to
enable the organization to achieve what the mind wills”.

4. A firm in an ongoing competition needs both sustainable and temporal advantage. It needs the luxury of ‘to win without fighting’ to secure the strengths and stability of its leadership position.

5. Focused action requires compatibility of minds of the members of the team; particularly, under conditions of stress of a fierce competition or battle. Since the time is invariably too short to make a move or respond, high degree of cooperation among team members is necessary. The minds of Krishna and Arjuna were most compatible as they listened to each other willingly and attentively. It is the teams that win and not the individuals, howsoever bright .

One of these things first...

Ok so this song serves for my bucket list :) If you have not heard this before, let me know and I shall send it across, it is one song you cant miss!

I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook
A real life lover, could have been a book.
I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock
As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.
I could be
Here and now
I would be, I should be
But how?
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been
One of these things first.

I could have been your pillar, could have been your door
I could have stayed beside you, could have stayed for more.
Could have been your statue, could have been your friend,
A whole long lifetime could have been the end.
I could be yours so true
I would be, I should be through and through
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been 
One of these things first.

I could have been a whistle, could have been a flute
A real life giver, could have been a boot.
I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock
As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.
I could be even here
I would be, I should be so near
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been
One of these things first.

Some more from my wealth of books...

By the river Piedra I sat down and wept - Paulo Coelho

I looked at the other, there in the corner of the room, fragile, exhausted, disillusioned. Controlling and enslaving what should really be free: her emotions. Trying to judge her future loves by the rules of her past suffering. 

But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice or dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck a fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love wherever we find it, even if it means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness. 

The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. And to save us. 

Jonnathan Livingston Seagull - Richard Bach

When you come to the edge of all light you have known, and are about to step out into darkness, faith is knowing one of the two will happen - There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught to fly. 

Reality is simply the name we give to our most cherished way of looking at the world. 

Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

As my visits with Morrie go on, I begin to read about death and how different cultures view the final passage. 

Fountainhead - Ayn Rand

Well, look at it. Every piece of it is there because the house needs it - and for no other reason. The rooms in which you'll live made the shape. The relation of masses was determined by the distribution of space within. The ornament was determined by the distribution of space, method of construction, and emphasis of the principle that makes it stand. Your own eyes go through a structural process.  When you look at the house, you can follow each step, you can see it rise, you know what made it and why it stands. But you've seen buildings with columns that support nothing, with purposeless cornices, with pilasters, moldings, false arches, false windows. You've seen buildings that look as if they contained one large hall, they have solid columns, and single solid windows six floors high. But you enter and find six stories inside. Or buildings that contain a single hall, but with a facade cut up into floor lines, band courses, tiers of windows. Do you understand the difference? Your house is made by its own needs. Those others are made by the need to impress. The determining motive of your house is in the house. The determining motive of others in the audience. 

*A thing is not high if one can reach it; it is not great if one can reason about it; it is not deep if one can see its bottom. 

* Illusory joy is often far more worth than genuine sorrow. 

* Love - The word is not enough for what it is

* Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it. 

* Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, it is knowing that they will pass away. 

* Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. 

* Those who look outside dream, those who look inside awaken.

Shakespeare in Julius Caesar- 

Cowards die many times before their death. The valiant never taste of death but once. Of all wonders that I yet have heard it seems to me most strange that men should fear; seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.