Buds taggged Sree and the one thing that crosses Sree's mind (and the minds of most 23 and above Indian girls) deserves to be addressed on my blog! She says -
"What's the fixation with marriage and right age vs marriage and right person?"
Exactly! In fact I think it is more like a fixation with "marriage at the right age with the right person"
No, just think about this - how much burden it is, to find the right person at the right time and do the maybe right or not-so-right thing with him/her - that is get married!
And the right time is also the right time to finish higher education, it is also the right time to save money, to travel, to give love to friends and family, it is the right time to do things to your heart's content and above all, the ONLY right time to discover who you are! Imagine fitting so many things into the same time-slot! What do you do with the rest of your life, damnit! Raise pigs?
And talking about the right person! Now, this is tricky! The definition of right person has changed so often in the past and has become so rigid now, that I have almost given up on finding the 'right' person. I have moved from finding the 'waiter at my college canteen' to 'the guy I spoke to for 3 mins 20 secs on my last drunken night' as being right for me. Beat that. Buds asked me what I want from my guy and I went to such fine details, it looked like I was getting a saree embroidered. She finally said I was unrealistic! If I tell what is it that I want in that 'right' person, you will take 4 seconds to tag me lesbian. So I won't even get there.
Marriage - The last part of the drama! The time is right* and the boy is right*. Does anybody ever ask is the concept of marriage itself right? No, I am not a commitment phobic or a 'radical-for-the-sake-of-it' trying to doubt the credibility of an age old concept. My parents probably have the most beautiful wedded life in the world - 30 yrs of crazy mad love. And I am very sure I want it too. But that said, do you gamble with something so sacred/beautiful/dangerous and place it on the matrix of time and resources?
Well, I am glad I am faced with all this but in a superbly moderate way and I easily have a couple of years more to seek answers. Phew!
* Definitions:
Right time - Varies from 23 to 27 (based on whether you are Punjabi, South Indian, Bengali, Marwari etc.)
Right guy - Slightly more educated than the girl or at least equally well educated. Not too many unmarried siblings. A nice fat pay packet, decent looking (Parents consider moustache a plus point, if they are South Indians.) Again, the definition of right guy varies from region to region. Typically:
Northie - Own business, Owns a swank car and preferably a house of his own. Definitely parental property.
Southie - "Hello. My name is Raj Shekhar. I am from REC Suratkal/IIT Bombay/IIM Bangalore/ISB/NUS/Kelloggs. I am working for Oracle/Sun Micro systems/Wipro/Infy/Microsoft. I have an elder bro/sis (married, settled in the US) I have a green card/I'll be moving to the States in a couple of months."
And the age old concept of company t-shirt and laptop bag! (Yuck!!)
Disclamier - No offense to anyone here, just penned down the trends I have noticed!
1 comments:
hahhahahaha.. that was a good one. One should marry when one wants to marry. so be it 18 or be it 60... age shouldn't matter: Right person thing is very sujective re... gals who'd said "i won't marry till i'm 28 atleast, have fallen into love (the moooooooost unexpected ones that too) and then got married at 24-25.. so u see, its all about what you think and what you want at the right time...*snicker* *snicker*... y do i sound like a dialogues straight out of YRF film???
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