We're only human.

I am suffering from writer's block. So publishing an old draft. I do not believe in such long posts, but since it is there, you might as well read it. :) 

She was full of life, boisterous, well above average to look at and lived in Bombay. She loved dancing, laughed like she is on dope and danced at the slightest chance she could get. She finished college and started working. She had tonnes of friends and a loving family. 

And then there was a boy. Her brother's friend. A small town boy, blessed with a very very sharp mind, extremely ambitious and had graduated from the country's elitest educational institute. She met the boy often since he had rented out the apartment that her family owned. And he was her brother's best friend. And he fell for all the things in para 1. He begged of her to marry him, she was 2 yrs older than him. She did not feel romantically attracted to him, but she dint feel that way for anyone at that point in time. So she chose the known devil instead of the one an arranged marriage would get her.

And they tied the knot. They, just ike most newly weded couples, seemed like the happiest people in the world. They shifted base to Dubai - the land of Gold - black and yellow. They minted money but missed family. And so decided it was time for him to pursue higher eductation. Not to forget the girl was doing better than the boy at work and had managed saving a lot more. 

They came back to India and he joined the country's elitest Management Institute in an uptown place in South India. She was pregnant with their first son. She lived in an apartment close to his sister's place. And he lived on campus. She was funding his higher education. 

He made new friends who took precedence over everyone and everything in his life.  There was also a girl in the new friend circle. Life's like that - a wife finds her husband's dearest chic friend as not the best thing in the world. But this girl knew she was not so petty and that she will not hate this new girl. Friends are just friends after all and she knew she had the supreme position in his life. 

But the friendship became more than just that - ot so it seemed from the many emails that Mrs. Wife bumped into. She fell sick - asthma attacks leading to steroid shots, a baby to take care of and a rocking marriage. This took 5 years of her life - straight. Sleeplessness, sickness and the baby. 

Husband and wife moved back to Bombay and so did the new girl. She even landed up a job for herself in the same organization as the boy's to add to the wife's misery.

And when she finally decided that she'd better be getting herself a new job - to keep her mind away from what's been happening and in the worst case scenario - if they were to split, she would have the means to raise her child single handedly. 

But she had sent her husband for an MBA, she was just a post-graduate and had touched number 30 as her age. Jobs weren't easy to come in Bombay. So she compromised. She started letting go of things. She shut her eyes to the obvious. She was done with arguing with her husband about what the long phone calls, emails and gifts meant. She was done with listening to the same answer - "It's nothing! She is just a friend for God's sake!" 

And the friend is now reluctantly getting married. With wife at the hosptial out of yet another ailment, the husband still decides to travel 500 miles to her wedding. Priorities. 

The wife knew her husband loved her and not the friend. But it was difficult to see it. His actions were not indicating it. May be she was thinking wishfully. She was risking it all again - she was pregnant with her second baby. And she knew with 2 children and no job, there was no looking back for her in life. She had to make peace with herself. And with her husband's friend. She knew she was jealous and reading too much between the lines. But she couldn't help it. She was but human. 

* This is a true story. The friend' marriage, they say, has not consummated. The wife is busy putting a smiling facade and taking care of 2 lovely boys. The husband, now a father, beams with pride each time he sees his sons and seems to thank his wife each time he looks at her - for being such a stoic through 8 years. 

Of Mr. Randomer, of nailing the bitch and of a whole bunch of memories.

So weird. I have been waiting for my hundredth post like Harbhajan would wait for his hundredth run. It is ironic that this post is not one of happiness and jubiliation, like my other posts. But instead, it is a post that denotes closure. 

Randomer and the randomness end w.e.f Jan 21, 2009. 

A few months ago, it was an email that said - "I swear I am not hitting on you. Just give me your number." It was about understanding the nitty gritties of Critical Reasoning in GMAT - something that I sucked at and something that he aced. We spoke for really long every single day until Sep 17th. We spoke of universities to apply and we spoke of tricks to trick the exam. We used to say - "We'll nail the bitch" with so much conviction. That was our motto. 

My devastation was inevitable if not for him convincing me that GMAT is really not the end of the world. GMAT ended rather weirdly but the phone calls continued. They became a daily affair with a new song beig sung every night and with 'leaving on a jet plane' being the most sung. There was everything from retro to Indian classical that was offered! 

One fine day I said how I was going on vacation and after more than 70 emails of deliberation as to where the 2 of us can go, we ended up with Hyderabad as the answer. Meeting someone a guy who is such an avid reader, is careeristic and seems fun was not a bad plan afterall! 

2nd weekend of Nov 2008 it was. We stayed at a lovely place - Pragati Resorts. We had an awesome time watching Billy Connolly and laughing like crazy. As always, I was jumping walls after 4 drinks and I made the poor thing walk/jog/jump with me. 

The following day was the obvious stuff. I loved it. I was wholeheartedly given and not asked for in such a long time. My most desired ambition of life - being a paint scrapper, was not ridiculed and in fact welcomed. I did not know where we were headed but I sure as hell knew I was going to persevere with this one person since this was my challenge to myself that I can in fact make things work out. I have been an utter failure so far in the matters of heart. 

Yes, my already identified weakness 'attachment' was back with a vengeance. I do not chase people when I am attached to them but tend to just go blind. I can't see the obvious and despite all reasoning the heart suddenly starts taking over my head. Anyway within a month I could clearly see the signs and I knew things had already fallen apart. I wasn't complaining yet. I think of every damn thing as a part of life and I can bloody well deal with it with a lot of grace. 

I had almost forgotten everything, courtest all my girlies but as fate has it, this was not gonna leave me like that and God had a better closure in mind! After a tedious vacation, last night I receive a random email asking why I was being such a bitch. 

Yes, Mr. Randomer was not single and I was being put under the spotlight by Mrs. Randomer for no apparent reason! Woohoo! For all the perseverance :| After an entire night of anxiety and some rather pleasant exchange of words with the lady herself, I was starting to feel better. I wonder why I thought speaking to him for the last time was so important. I was freaking laughing with NB over Mr. Randomer being 'busted'. I told Piyu how I was gonna tell him he had been a bastard and how I know this was all so well planned. 

I now know myself better than this. Piyu is rather upset that I was such a saint as we spoke. I gave him gyaan about saying a whole-hearted sorry to her and how he does not owe me an answer. I told him I have nothing for or against him and that he should have a good life and must let me know when he makes it to a big university. I did not want to be mean.  I knew that being myself only would give me peace of mind. And I think I did a decent job. I was polite and mature through the conversation. (I hope!)

Yes. So randomness has ended now. Finally. 

I just removed the post-it on my calendar which was a reminder for me to get him a Jethro Tull t-shirt and to buy a book. I was gonna meet him in February. 

A rather well planned ending for such a random person. 

Or is it a random ending for a not-so-random person?

(Special note if you ever read it - I was hurt man. I don't know for what joy, but yeah, I felt miserable for a few hours. )

Add like mad - Fun game!