Tete-a-Tete with The Man

After a long blogging hiatus, I am back with some interesting new introductions. So here’s presenting the one and only, husband a.ka. punching bag/alternate ATM/body guard/driver/all-new-best-friend. I guess the best way to introduce the man is by presenting his own views about himself, about me and about marriage in general. So here’s our blogs very first interview. Presenting - PV! (***applause!***)



1. Tell us something about yourself - the way you are as a son, fiance, friend and/or an individual


Ans: I think as a son I would have preferred being a less annoying child in my adolescent years. I don’t think I was naughty kid, but I don’t think I have risen to my dad’s expectations and would like to be able to do so some day. As a fiance, this is an action item for Jinu (Jinu only responds to MBA/Office jargon and everything has to be presented to her as another action item). Friends, I don’t know if I can make friends like you do Jin, friends for whom you can do anything for. I have a very pragmatic relationship with my friends I guess. As an individual I am practical, passionate about computer security and emotional.

1. You are such an eligible bachelor, pretty much any girl in the bay area would be on her knees to marry you. Why a girl so far away? Why Jinu?

Ans: I am far from being an eligible bachelor. Girls in the bay area? It is called Gay Area/Man Jose for a reason. Jinu because it just worked out in every way.

2. If you were to tell our audience 3 things about finding the right life-partner, what would they be?

Ans: Don’t over analyze the situation, know who you are and then know what you want.

3. What have been the most exciting moments for you in the past few months?

Ans: Planning for our HoneyMoon :P

4. Have there been any ups and downs? How did the two of you deal with them?

Ans: Yes there were a lot of ups and downs, talking and being honest and saying the right things even if it hurts the other person is probably the best way to approach these kinds of issues.

5. You must be rigorously planning your wedding now. Are you nervous, excited? Tell us how you feel right now.

Ans: I don’t know if I am as rigorously planning for the wedding as I am for the honeymoon. Absolutely excited not nervous. Should I be nervous?

6. What are the things you are most looking forward to after getting married, other than the obvious of course :)

Ans: Not always having to call someone or the other if you want to go out for a hike, a new restaurant or exploring new things. Always having someone who will back you up and encourage you to pursue things out of the box.

7. What is the most special thing you've done to please her so far? Has she done something out of the ordinary for you?

Ans: I am a pretty boring person when it comes to surprising things. I think by far the gift that she cherishes the most is a book called Ifferisms that I gifted to her. On  my birthday she created this website on which she noted down all our memories together. That was damn special.

8. Where do you see yourself - the two of you and your relationship 10 years from now?

Ans: Hopefully back in India with both of us in good positions career wise.Babies, a house with a garden and two adopted dogs.

9. Thanks a ton for your time and for telling us all these beautiful things. Do you have any closing comments? Any special message for her or our audience?

Ans: Keep reading and recommending this blog to others. I think Jinu gets paid for the google ads that get displayed on her blog. So the more the richer she becomes.

There are good weekends, there are great weekends and then there are legendary weekends.

No prizes for guessing, my life has entered the zone of legendary weekends. 1 of my 5 girls is now engaged and all set to tie the knot in August. We always knew she'd be the 1st to get married and we were right. (unless one of us ties the knot in a jiffy in the next 3 months. naaah!) The news was revealed in our own style - the pictionary style. Yes we guessed looking at pictures and did not react out of sheer disbelief. There was this deafening silence to start with and then deafening shouts of Oh My God!! thereafter. Of course, there was unlimited alcohol and crazy drunkenness and dancing followed. Then there was the quiet time in the balcony where everyone was drunk beyond wits and we were letting those skeletons out of our closets.

Next morning was all about dealing with hangovers and planning for that day's lunch and all the lunches and dinners we would do before the big day. There is a designer visit for the sarees, the jewelry store trips and trying to figure what to gift the bride. And of course the bachelorette party which will be something no one has seen ever before. I wont give the details out because the bride is an occasional reader at this space! :)

There is also the saga of goosebumps and denial and acceptance and happiness and sadness that follows with the first wedding in a bunch of childhood/teenage friends. But all in all there is only one way to describe the mood of the season - Happyyyy!

We're only human.

I am suffering from writer's block. So publishing an old draft. I do not believe in such long posts, but since it is there, you might as well read it. :) 

She was full of life, boisterous, well above average to look at and lived in Bombay. She loved dancing, laughed like she is on dope and danced at the slightest chance she could get. She finished college and started working. She had tonnes of friends and a loving family. 

And then there was a boy. Her brother's friend. A small town boy, blessed with a very very sharp mind, extremely ambitious and had graduated from the country's elitest educational institute. She met the boy often since he had rented out the apartment that her family owned. And he was her brother's best friend. And he fell for all the things in para 1. He begged of her to marry him, she was 2 yrs older than him. She did not feel romantically attracted to him, but she dint feel that way for anyone at that point in time. So she chose the known devil instead of the one an arranged marriage would get her.

And they tied the knot. They, just ike most newly weded couples, seemed like the happiest people in the world. They shifted base to Dubai - the land of Gold - black and yellow. They minted money but missed family. And so decided it was time for him to pursue higher eductation. Not to forget the girl was doing better than the boy at work and had managed saving a lot more. 

They came back to India and he joined the country's elitest Management Institute in an uptown place in South India. She was pregnant with their first son. She lived in an apartment close to his sister's place. And he lived on campus. She was funding his higher education. 

He made new friends who took precedence over everyone and everything in his life.  There was also a girl in the new friend circle. Life's like that - a wife finds her husband's dearest chic friend as not the best thing in the world. But this girl knew she was not so petty and that she will not hate this new girl. Friends are just friends after all and she knew she had the supreme position in his life. 

But the friendship became more than just that - ot so it seemed from the many emails that Mrs. Wife bumped into. She fell sick - asthma attacks leading to steroid shots, a baby to take care of and a rocking marriage. This took 5 years of her life - straight. Sleeplessness, sickness and the baby. 

Husband and wife moved back to Bombay and so did the new girl. She even landed up a job for herself in the same organization as the boy's to add to the wife's misery.

And when she finally decided that she'd better be getting herself a new job - to keep her mind away from what's been happening and in the worst case scenario - if they were to split, she would have the means to raise her child single handedly. 

But she had sent her husband for an MBA, she was just a post-graduate and had touched number 30 as her age. Jobs weren't easy to come in Bombay. So she compromised. She started letting go of things. She shut her eyes to the obvious. She was done with arguing with her husband about what the long phone calls, emails and gifts meant. She was done with listening to the same answer - "It's nothing! She is just a friend for God's sake!" 

And the friend is now reluctantly getting married. With wife at the hosptial out of yet another ailment, the husband still decides to travel 500 miles to her wedding. Priorities. 

The wife knew her husband loved her and not the friend. But it was difficult to see it. His actions were not indicating it. May be she was thinking wishfully. She was risking it all again - she was pregnant with her second baby. And she knew with 2 children and no job, there was no looking back for her in life. She had to make peace with herself. And with her husband's friend. She knew she was jealous and reading too much between the lines. But she couldn't help it. She was but human. 

* This is a true story. The friend' marriage, they say, has not consummated. The wife is busy putting a smiling facade and taking care of 2 lovely boys. The husband, now a father, beams with pride each time he sees his sons and seems to thank his wife each time he looks at her - for being such a stoic through 8 years. 

The exquisite tragedy - My Best Friend's wedding.

Yes, I really never thought Poona would be about 4 busy working women who are my best friends and who would go out of their way to spend that extra hour with me and take time out for me, no matter what. Never thought Poona would be about fancy dinners and expensive clothes. Never thought Poona would also be about my best friend's wedding.

I was at Pune from 10th of Feb until the 13th. I was there for Piyu's wedding. Piyu's wedding was the most awaited event in the life of me and Shilpa (and of course in the life of Piyu and Chetan!)

We had a spinster party for Piyu. No there were no male strippers brought in with the bride in a limousine at Vegas over alcohol over flowing all over the place and with 50 of the bride's chic friends. The party had 3 people - The bride, Shilpa and me.

It had 2 phases. The first one started at about 10 AM and got over by 12 in the noon. There was some crazy clicking of pictures, checking out the bride's (much discussed) nightwear and li*ger*e (wink wink Piyu!) and of course - 'Piyu, brush kar! Mujhe bhook lagi hai!!!' The party had Poha, chai and vada-pav to eat, all consumed at the Joshi vade vale counter in BMCC lane.

Phase 2 was the night before the wedding - 3 of us pretending to be asleep in 3 beds in the same room at the venue of the wedding. Then there was some discussion about how we wish the wedding wasn't the next day and we could talk all night long without the fear of dark circles and swollen eyes for the bride.

The wedding started late the next day. It was a beautiful Maharashtrian wedding - simple and pure. There was a small girl, aged about 10 who sang Shubha Mangala Savadhan in the best way I've ever heard. The garlands were exchanged, the couple blessed and a tear rolled down Piyu's cheek - and that's when I decided I couldn't and wouldn't stay for the Bidaai (yes, the official send-off of the bride.) Yes, I was selfish. But seeing Piyu go was like giving my favouritest possession to someone - for no apparent reason.

I also felt the contrast between a guy's wedding and a girl's wedding. Cams's wedding was fun - he was bringing in someone new. But Piyu was going away. (In reality, Cams is gone to another girl whereas Piyu will be back to us right after her honeymoon!) We finished lunch and I almost instructed Chetan to love Piyu as much as we do, since anyway no one can love her more than us!

On my way back to Mayu's apartment, Poona had changed for me. It was a different world. Piyu was now married. Piyu was no more the girl with t-shirts that have wise cracks and denims folded up half way through her calf. Poona was no longer about the single Jinu and single Piyu not minding being called lesbian partners and being broke to the last penny on the 16th of the month.

Poona was now about Piyu's new home - with a husband; where all said and done I would be a guest, not a room mate.

* I know, the title sounds depressing. But that's how it is to give away your best friend or your sister to someone. 

Yet another Best Friend's wedding...

Me and my sister went to check out a paying guest accommodation at Shivaji Nagar in Pune. A puny little girl opened the door. Me and Sony gave each other this look - 'snooty bitch. Huh. Wait till we come raid this place.'  Neither was she the snooty bitch nor were we the kinda girls who raid places.

 

We moved in a couple of days later. I was in 12th grade and her in 2nd year of college. We stayed up all night that night and by morning I knew her almost as well as I knew myself. We then lived together for the next 4 years. I moved to Hyderabad and her to Bangalore (convenient, I know!) We moved from being friends to being like sisters to teachers, role models, guides and a whole bunch of things in these many years.

 

Just like any other special relationship - It was one without too many things in common except for perseverance and the wish to be together through good times and bad. Yes, there were the fights and phases of - "she does not understand me." It is because of her that the saying 'Blood is thicker than water' ceased to exist in my life.

 

She is getting married to a very lovable person in 10 days from today. It scares me - I am just back from one best friend's wedding and walking straight into another one's with single blues keeping me company. While this happens, I know she will still remain my lighthouse when I am lost, my bank when I am broke, my blanket when I am cold, my mad chic when I need a laugh, my devil's advocate and more than anything else - my crystal ball. Yes, she can see things for me with cent percent accuracy. (And I wont hold it against her if she ever goes fully wrong.)

 

This post is probably not to hold people's interest but to say that I love her much and since this blog is one of my dearest inanimate objects/places, she sure as hell deserves to be here with me.

 

This post is also to inspire my readers to write something about those lovely people who haven't come made a difference and left, but who have come, made a difference and will continue being there forever. There are no right words for these people. But I know as you read this Piyu, you know how I feel. 

Of weddings, reunions and fun.

I had looked forward to this time in Delhi for so long that I had started fearing it would not stand up to my expectations - and I was terribly wrong. Despite some very unfortunate events at NB's place, I managed having a gala time at the wedding and meeting the boys. 

I stayed with NB and did not sleep all night on 28th. 29th was meeting Sruthy. (it's her with the curlers, sitting at the salon.) 29th was also the night of the fancy cocktail party and seeing the boys after about 3 long years!! It was just so weird to see those college hooligans dressed in Black suits and clean shaven. We all drank and bonded over food in the cold cold Delhi evening. 

We headed home at about midnight and had another night of endless conversations. The next day was going for 'a' drink at @Live at CP in Delhi. The 'a' drink ended up being 'a few' drinks and we were scared to drive back home in the drunken state. After getting ready for the wedding, I witnessed 2 of my life's first times - 

a. A friend's wedding.

b. A BIG FAT Indian wedding. 

After attending the baraat and trying to control the drunk boys, the beauty of the ceremony started sinking in. Seeing my friend and his wife go through the rituals of a Hindu wedding somehow gave the feeling of everything being right despite all that they have gone through in the last so many months. I could not have imagined him with anyone else next to him in the 'shaadi ka mandap.' 

After saying an emotional goodbye to him (since this was a scary one!) we reaced home well past 4 am. After a couple of hours of sleep and a rather shocking news from Nidhi's uncle's place, I headed to my cousin's place and met my little niece for the first time. It was then time to meet a very very special friend over a drink - something we had planned for a long time. We then headed to his place for the rest of the evening. The night was fun - 3 movies, Maggi, cranberry juice and staying up all night. 

4 30 am was the time to leave for New Delhi station and travel back home. D dropped me to the sation and it sucked to say bye to him. I enjoyed his company so much this time around. 

I know this is a bad update for a great vacation, but the most special things in life are the most difficult to write about. 

Picture Gallery: 

* Me and NB in our same ol' pose. 

* NB and Sruthy having a giggle fit over snooty Delhi babes

* DC and Cow - after sooo long!

* Sruthy straightening her curls

* Finally - the bride and the groom at the cocktail party. 

My Best Friend's Wedding

Before I write about the wedding, the reunions and the fun, I have to write a small note for the person whose wedding I went for. 

KB or Cams (as me and NB call him) is my friend from college. We were introduced by our Economics professor in 2nd year of college. There was the usual 'let's go have breakfast, I am starving' and there was 'what are you upto this evening?' We would call each other up everyday for something or the other and it then became habit. We were the kind of friends who had nothing in common to start with - interests, lifestyles, hobbies - nothing. Except for the fact that we were outstation students and found company in each other killing time.

We have now come to a point in life where we have everything in common. We have shared everything from clothes,utensils, vehicles, apartments, joys, sorrows - to life in general. 6 years of crazy fights to late night movies to uncontrollable giggles to being there for each other through memory lapses and road accidents we have seen far more than what we had planned to. 

He finally got wedded on Jan 30, 2009 at New Delhi to a girl with whom he has persevered a lot to make the relationship work. 

Me and him are strongly wishing, hoping, praying that things don't change much between us. It was a relief to get the ritual 'good morning' call this morning - Never expected it on the 1st day of his wedded life! 

As I deal with my slight sense of loss, I pray to God to give me the strength to understand that I cannot call him up at 2:00 AM asking for attention or throw an unwarranted fit since I am feeling unloved. I cannot claim my right on the front seat of the car or pick up things from his house like they are all mine. 

At the end of it all, I know we are special friends and much as life may change, the love will remain.