There are good weekends, there are great weekends and then there are legendary weekends.

No prizes for guessing, my life has entered the zone of legendary weekends. 1 of my 5 girls is now engaged and all set to tie the knot in August. We always knew she'd be the 1st to get married and we were right. (unless one of us ties the knot in a jiffy in the next 3 months. naaah!) The news was revealed in our own style - the pictionary style. Yes we guessed looking at pictures and did not react out of sheer disbelief. There was this deafening silence to start with and then deafening shouts of Oh My God!! thereafter. Of course, there was unlimited alcohol and crazy drunkenness and dancing followed. Then there was the quiet time in the balcony where everyone was drunk beyond wits and we were letting those skeletons out of our closets.

Next morning was all about dealing with hangovers and planning for that day's lunch and all the lunches and dinners we would do before the big day. There is a designer visit for the sarees, the jewelry store trips and trying to figure what to gift the bride. And of course the bachelorette party which will be something no one has seen ever before. I wont give the details out because the bride is an occasional reader at this space! :)

There is also the saga of goosebumps and denial and acceptance and happiness and sadness that follows with the first wedding in a bunch of childhood/teenage friends. But all in all there is only one way to describe the mood of the season - Happyyyy!

Escape is easier than change. So I love vacations!

Why is it always so difficult to articulate beauty?

After about a month of dilly-dally the trip finally happened. I went to Goa with the girls. Probably my best ever vacation. Ok I might sound thankless for all the other wonderful vacations I've had but this was hands down the best time I've ever had! Colva, Majorda, Calangute (yuck!) Bagha, Candolim, Anjuna, Dona Paula, Panjim, Old Goa (ok not an architecture fan), Alcohol, dancing, driving, drunk driving, cops, bike breakdown, water sports, borrowing clothes, footwear, accessories from each other, getting pissed off and bursting into fits of laughter, sitting quietly for hours and contemplating about nothing and everything - it was all there in the last 4 days.

We spent hours at the beach, sitting on those long foot-ons, thinking to ourselves some hot guy will zoom towards us in a water-scooter. But as all of us know, life is not that kind. Forget water scooter, we did not even see cute guys at Totos or Brittos! And the ones who looked cute, if I showed you those boys you'd call me a pedophile. Yes we've all suddenly grown old. I couldn't even drink for the first half of the trip and I almost told myself this is the last time I am going to Goa - after all you can't sip pots of ginger tea at Goa, can you?

We drove hundreds of kilometers in the state, got a crazy tan, drank loads of coconut water, alcohol and tea. We slept until late during the day and stayed awake through the night. What was so different from your regular vacation? Well nothing. Then what makes it so special? Just the thought that it could probably be one of my last vacations with the girls for a long long time to come.

The same feeling again, that I get each time I am having a good time - life is so easy around people you know and you love. There is no pretence, there is no pleasing. They don’t care how terrible you look in those night clothes and yet make fun of you when you are dressed at your best. You don’t miss anyone, there is no wanting to make calls or worrying about  what the future might hold or how bad that last year was. Time comes to a stand still and yet moves so fast. There is no earlier in the day and no later in the evening. All that's there is that moment and the feeling of utmost satisfaction with what you have.

And then there is the power of the supreme. Standing alone in front of the roaring sea at 2 am makes you feel so small, so petty. Driving alone on a dark street tells you the darkness is for a reason, for a reality check. No matter how powerful man gets, some things will continue to dictate their supremacy. The sea can give you the same feeling that those mountains can give. They are harmless at that instant but can get nasty. You don't want to provoke the beautiful waves in the ocean, the darkness of the night, the silence of the mountains and the evenness of the deserts.

Vacations are getting better. Hopefully life will get better too. The hot sun is sometimes more comforting than the cool moonlight. As of now, I am back to this shithole of a place called office and to bustling Bombay. It helps to know that there are enough bounties of nature to leave behind your mundane life at and to feel alive for a few hours every year, in the name of vacation.

P.S: Do not spend on high SPF sunscreens.

Half of my heart.

There are these days when reality comes, slaps your face, pulls your hair, screams into your ears and says - Face it!

That happened to me last evening. I finally came to terms with Gayatri leaving. For a while I've been avoiding talking about Gayathri's saga of India exit. I avoided it when she said she's leaving. I avoided it when I went to meet her one last time in Pune and I completely ran away from it by not going to the airport to see her off.

I've been telling myself, she's just around the corner, Dubai is a neighboring country etc. I spoke to the girls about her, thought I'd go see her in Jan and what not.

But it struck when I was finalizing my weekend visit to Poona. Damn. No Gayatri?! It was almost like coming out of denial. And then our conversation last evening - where we realized it doesn't seem like too long ago when we went to college and did nothing but eat, drink and make merry. Quite literally. The lack of money and commitment and responsibilities was awesome. But we did own up to our share of hard work after those 5yrs. And we did a great job. Today we are all so settled and unsettled at the same time.

We feel distant from each other and so close at the same time. We lack time but we could do with fewer hours in a day. We like the freedom and yet we are not very sure as to how free we are. We want to find someone permanent in life and yet feel so jittery about settling down. We want to act like crack-heads but we know we can't. It's beyond us. We are young but not young enough. Old but not old enough. And I don't want to term it quarter-life crisis. Don't ask me why.

This crisis seems so bad only because in the last 4 years we could have done with a few hours over the weekend at the coffee shop and could've continued being who we are. At least for a couple of hours a week.

I now feel how being present in spirit is actually a lie. No matter how much one means it, physical presence is just something else. We have metamorphosed into different people. And the change was necessary. But without each other?

Gayatri, I'd have loved to be a part of your change. I'd have loved you to be a part of my change.

I'd have loved to see you while you said what you said to me and I'd have loved to tell you little details of crazy things I hear everyday. I'd love to ask you to pick me up and I'd love to give you company in queues at the court, at the bank. I'd love to re-live those 5 years at the cost of the next 5 years. But does life give us too many options?

I am teary eyed in a long time. Gayathri with an H, I really never knew I'd miss you so bad.

Half of my heart is you Gayu. I love you.

It really doesnt matter how long I've known you. All that matters is that I know you.

As the time for me to say Goodbye comes closer, I realize how much I am going to miss the new entrant in my life, whom I start sort of missing by the end of the day and can't put myself to bed unless I've spoken to her a bit। (read: a few couple of hours।) Pri has been a terrific addition to my list of loved-ones and this is a small attempt to document these last few weeks of craziness.

Pri, the quintessential mad chic. The bullet laughter. The thumping sound when you climb up the stairs. The 'Main huun, darwaaza kholo' routine every night in that sing-song tone. The endless conversations. The endless nights when we slept because it was 6 am and so we must sleep. The countless cigarettes we smoked. The mad men making moves at us at 1 AM and the important lesson we learnt that night - only to forget it in less than 48 hours. The love you showered when I was all delirious with fever. The sharing secrets and reading old emails of lost love. The ecstasy after your GMAT. The drunkenness and recording of videos. Telling each other that the ex-bfs were too bad so they'd better be gone. The fondness for over-sized t-shirts and friend's boyfriend's denim jacket. The discussions over books. The open-minded conversations which could have been heated debates with almost anyone else. That silence which pierces through and the love that screams without words. The Miss Messy who goes on a cleaning spree every once in a week. The girl trying miserably to hide emotions. The slant terrace, the coffees, the daal-chawals and the smokes.

One thing I've learnt from you is that not everything needs to be put into words and that one look is enough to soothe a hurt. You've been an awesome roomie, an awesomer smoke-buddy, an even awesomer madness mound and the awesomest friend in such a short period of time.

Know that no matter where I go, I am here to stay in your life. Thank you for everything Pri.

Saki sharaab peene de masjid mein baith kar ya fir koi aisi jagah bata jahaan khuda nahi!

3 girls went drinking - Sex Kitten (Amu), Foxy (me) and Mango Dolly (Nidhi.) Savita Bhabhi (Pri) was busy working.

Nidhi ab Khulla Saandh hai..rather khulli gaay hai.

We want some more alcohol. Drunkennes is cool when you just broke up or when you just got a new job. Or even when yu got fired.

Closing track for the day - Kitthe chali hai Gobi Da fool banke kudiye badami rangiye!

We shall try to arrange some more alcohol and entertain you some more.

Joe Felix is the man! Kambakht ishq. Waise toh D is also the man.

Itta likh....utta likh....Muthalikh. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

South mein free fund mein 'H' milte hain...'Muthalikh, kavit'h'a, savit'h'a, d'h'al, khamb'h'a, kutt'h'e....ethe, uthe, kithe!

We have a cosmic conn bee.

We also have some Ginn for doing some shots.

Paapi saraab pi saitaan ke dil mein baith kar, waha khuda nahi! (waha extreme sports bar hai!)

Dark Art Studio

May 28, 2009, Thursday.

Utopia: "You'll call them up and take an appointment?"

Me: "Ok cool. I am SO excited!"

Utopia: "Sorry I am making you do all the dirty work..."

Me: "Shut up. It's ok. I'll see you on Saturday."

Saturday June 30, 2009. 

10:00 AM

Utopia: "I got an appointment for 2:30. I will see you at Hard Rock Cafe at 1. We'll go from there."

Me: "Ok cool, one last time at HRC. I'll see you there."

1:00 PM over SMS

Me: I've reached. I am sitting outside. 

Utopia: I am stuck in traffic...so sorry.

Me: It's ok. come.

1:20 PM 

Utopia: "Hieee!"

Me: "Hiee!!!!"

Utopia: "We'll quickly catch a smoke and go."

Me: "No!! I haven't eaten a thing since morning. We'll eat."

Utopia: "Oh! look who's hungry, ok we'll eat and go."

An order for a veg sandwich (for me) and Chicken Pita Pockets (for her) was placed. We finished less than half of our servings and decided we could eat no more. It was time to go hunting for some Plot No. 34/11, Fraser Town. 

After 10 mins of non-sensical giggling about tying scarves like dacoits and behaving 100 pc puneri and after pretending to be hot chics wearing hot sun glasses and drooling over a nice looking boy in a Yamaha bike, we realized we have no idea where we are headed to. 

We were clueless about the place so was the auto driver. After having looked for Polytechnique college instead of a Polyclinic and after walking down the same street a couple of times (with some ATM mishaps en route) we figured out the place and reached a house with a small studio tucked somewhere in the corner. There were people smoking ciggs, drawing immaculate pictures of devils turning angels and intestines popping out of mouths and similar complex things. We had reached Dark Art Tattoo studio. 

We waited there burning time (quite literally) ridiculing a crazy woman who wanted to look hip n full of life with her sidey clothes and sidi-er tattoos. Some SMSes were exchanged bitching about her and praising the 'guy in a white tee' (since we couldn't talk loud.) We even thought we could talk in Bengali (her) and Oriya (me) since the 2 languages are so similar. We followed not a word of what the other person said. haha!

We spoke to people waiting to get tattoos done and we spoke to people doing them. We got bored. It was close to 4 o clock. We took out our iPods - I started with Kelly Clarkson's Addicted and she started with Plain White Ts Hey there Delilah. We moved on to RHCP and Matchbox 20 and 3 doors down. And I realized I had to save whatever little charge was left in the iPod for my long ride to the airport later in the evening. Now we started listening to her iPod with one ear fone each. And we heard 'ain't no sunshine.' 

Utopia: "I am my own sunshine."

Me: "hmm... good. I am glad."

Me: "you know what will my tattoo be?"

Utopia: "Get the Harvard logo done" 

Me and Utopia: "hahahaha" for about 5 mins.

Me: "No. I will get a post-it size note pinned up with a message on it - I want to own all the books in the world." Like this: 

Me: "I was dying when she was clearing blackheads off me in the parlor. I will get myself a tattoo it seems. huh."

And we giggle again.

And then the skinny, drug addict looking boy came to draw the outline on Utopia - for she was the one getting the tattoo. (I will leave the description for her to write on her blog.) Yayy! It was finally her turn to get etched in ink - for the second time! 

A skinny, 'I'll-be-dead-in-3mins' looking girl started to work the driller on her and the ease with which Utopia sat there talking and smiling was awesome. In the middle of it, I got a call saying the flight is to land at 6 45 and not 7 45 - which meant I had to run. We exchanged quick hugs, knowing we will not see each other again for the next few months or maybe even years - who knows. 

I took an auto and I could not believe I have met this girl exactly 4 times and that she knows me like I know myself. I could not believe my heart will skip a beat even thinking about having her gone and not having her weave dreams for me. 

Utopia, I just hope it is the end for a new beginning. This tattoo date was one of the most memorable days of my life for more reasons than one. As you board the train to a far off land today, I know that we will meet again - probably with some dreams from the many we have, having come true. I hope we will giggle just as much and I hope we will have some more castles to build in the air. 

"and if our hands meet in another dream we'll build another tower in the sky."

Buzzzz....

Ladakh calling - in July. Yes Myulee, we will go. My family has a thing against me being adventurous. Irrespective of the fact that they've been there done that and have always come out of adventures, being happy and fine! Never mind, I've done far too many things in life because I wanted to do them, not getting deterred by their 'we'll save you from everything forever.' Ladakh is just drop in the ocean.

 

Cousins coming over. Preparing myself for the quintessential family debate - with me on one side trying to explain I will do what I want to do as and when I want to do it - and with family on the other side trying to convince me that life is a battle against time - and so I should make the most of today. (And the topic will eventually shift to - 'make the most' in whose terms? Theirs or mine? And I will be told I am faffing around to compensate for the lack of focus and direction in life.) Damn, even the thought tires me out. Wonder how I will go through the drill. Sigh!

 

Twinnie will be missed. My vent when deepest fears are turning ugly, my motivation machine when I need to hear - "Girl, I am telling you - when this plastic bubble breaks - you are gonna have it all. It is just a matter of time before you had the dream college and that one person who loves you for who you are." And I will miss the instant second line - "Look at everyone man! They are all set! And you and me will be forever sitting at Hard Rock café sipping sweet lime and smoking cigarettes." hahah. Yes girl, I will miss you.

 

And what is already missed is someone with wolf-like capacity to read, clarity of thoughts (or maybe the lack of it) and certain special moments. But happiness is transitionary and has to be cherished for its worth - not to be looked back at bring the sulking out. So I am at peace with what I had and what I don't have. 

Jab We Met...!

And we finally met. Me and Utopia. Her blog and mine are different in their own stead but there is something that always clicks with some people. And it clicked with us. As fate would have it, I have landed up at the same place as her and so there was no doubt that we would meet. I thought it would be like a blind date but it wasn't. She seemed like a long lost friend with whom I was just catching up after a very very long time. We have parallel lives. We are as cool, stupid, fucked up, sensitive, emotional (or otherwise) and full of vices as the other. We spoke non stop for about an hour and half at a lovely place.

 

I won't give out anything of what we spoke, for obvious reasons - the stuff's personal. But all I will say is, she is indeed my twin (though she is way prettier!) in thought and action. Talking about meeting people, I have to fit this in! I met by bestest friend (referred to as NB and Budds in this blog) last week and we spent 5 straight hours together. I din't know I had missed her so much! Also another awesome friend of mine is gonna be back to India next week and I am meeting him too.  He is one of my few 'no-nonsense'  I-love-spending-time-with'  'endless-and-meaningful-conversations' ' drinking-buddy' and 'such-an-amazing-person' friends that I have.

 

All for swearing that I wont socialize in my 'secret location!' ! Huh.

 

Anyway other updates from me!

 

I got tanned at home, in my sleep. :| it was a cloudy afternoon with pleasant breeze so I opened the huge french windows by my bed and dozed off with a book. Only to wake up with the hot scorching sun burning me and me sweating like I was running a marathon! :(

 

I am gonna spend the month of May reading Karl Marx. I have always been intrigued by him but never read extensively to have an opinion. (Provided I finish the books by Marquez, Steinbeck, Manto, Kunzru and Fyodor that are lying on my table begging for attention!)

 

OK there were a million things I thought of this morning that I wanted to write about but they seem to have evaporated. I will buzz out with this much and will hopefully be back soon.

 

Oh just btw, welcome back PP! 

We're only human.

I am suffering from writer's block. So publishing an old draft. I do not believe in such long posts, but since it is there, you might as well read it. :) 

She was full of life, boisterous, well above average to look at and lived in Bombay. She loved dancing, laughed like she is on dope and danced at the slightest chance she could get. She finished college and started working. She had tonnes of friends and a loving family. 

And then there was a boy. Her brother's friend. A small town boy, blessed with a very very sharp mind, extremely ambitious and had graduated from the country's elitest educational institute. She met the boy often since he had rented out the apartment that her family owned. And he was her brother's best friend. And he fell for all the things in para 1. He begged of her to marry him, she was 2 yrs older than him. She did not feel romantically attracted to him, but she dint feel that way for anyone at that point in time. So she chose the known devil instead of the one an arranged marriage would get her.

And they tied the knot. They, just ike most newly weded couples, seemed like the happiest people in the world. They shifted base to Dubai - the land of Gold - black and yellow. They minted money but missed family. And so decided it was time for him to pursue higher eductation. Not to forget the girl was doing better than the boy at work and had managed saving a lot more. 

They came back to India and he joined the country's elitest Management Institute in an uptown place in South India. She was pregnant with their first son. She lived in an apartment close to his sister's place. And he lived on campus. She was funding his higher education. 

He made new friends who took precedence over everyone and everything in his life.  There was also a girl in the new friend circle. Life's like that - a wife finds her husband's dearest chic friend as not the best thing in the world. But this girl knew she was not so petty and that she will not hate this new girl. Friends are just friends after all and she knew she had the supreme position in his life. 

But the friendship became more than just that - ot so it seemed from the many emails that Mrs. Wife bumped into. She fell sick - asthma attacks leading to steroid shots, a baby to take care of and a rocking marriage. This took 5 years of her life - straight. Sleeplessness, sickness and the baby. 

Husband and wife moved back to Bombay and so did the new girl. She even landed up a job for herself in the same organization as the boy's to add to the wife's misery.

And when she finally decided that she'd better be getting herself a new job - to keep her mind away from what's been happening and in the worst case scenario - if they were to split, she would have the means to raise her child single handedly. 

But she had sent her husband for an MBA, she was just a post-graduate and had touched number 30 as her age. Jobs weren't easy to come in Bombay. So she compromised. She started letting go of things. She shut her eyes to the obvious. She was done with arguing with her husband about what the long phone calls, emails and gifts meant. She was done with listening to the same answer - "It's nothing! She is just a friend for God's sake!" 

And the friend is now reluctantly getting married. With wife at the hosptial out of yet another ailment, the husband still decides to travel 500 miles to her wedding. Priorities. 

The wife knew her husband loved her and not the friend. But it was difficult to see it. His actions were not indicating it. May be she was thinking wishfully. She was risking it all again - she was pregnant with her second baby. And she knew with 2 children and no job, there was no looking back for her in life. She had to make peace with herself. And with her husband's friend. She knew she was jealous and reading too much between the lines. But she couldn't help it. She was but human. 

* This is a true story. The friend' marriage, they say, has not consummated. The wife is busy putting a smiling facade and taking care of 2 lovely boys. The husband, now a father, beams with pride each time he sees his sons and seems to thank his wife each time he looks at her - for being such a stoic through 8 years. 

But dearest friends, I mean cars, alas! must part.

Sigh… yet another goodbye. No, no one's getting married this time. The Maruti Zen which has given us girls, undeniably, the best times of our life is being sold off.

 

'Us girls' refers to the gang of 6 crazy girls 5 of whom have been together since Std 11 and a new entry in Second Yr college. We had 3 scooties among the 5 of us until 2nd year of college. In those 4 years we have traversed the length and breadth of Poona in a way that no one else would have in their lifetime. We have jumped signals for kicks (come on! We were young girls, we are excused silly behavior!) and lied to cops and cried at the police station for hours (trying to look as natural as we could in the midst of giggle fits.) when those lil bikes were towed away.

 

Our first time out together was in 11th Std - pizzas, wine and trying smokes for the first time in of those lanes at Koregaon Park - Some of us were nervous, some were drunk and some were trying to figure out how a cigarette is lit. But all of us were enjoying. That evening made one of us a smoker, one of us a drunkard (well almost) and 2 of us found a strange connection with each other with food being the path.

 

We continued eating and drinking and loving each other. And then one of us bought a car - a Maruti Zen. And there was a new girl with curls like no one else. And she had a connection with us - of drinking and eating.  That was the turning point. The scooties would only take us to a common destination from where we would load ourselves into the car. And the eating and drinking increased manifold since the sun, rain and nigh time could not harm us much now and since there was a new person to join us. The love was showered on the Zen too. The Zen has seen 3 of us bitch about the other 3 (many times in different permutations). It has seen 5 of us laugh like the world's ending and one of us crying like there's no tomorrow. It has cooperated in every single insane prank played by the owner. It has taken us to college, to the court, to the university, to clubs, pubs, restaurants, movie halls, NDA, Khadakwasla, Lonavla, railway station, bus stops  where not.

 

It has been 5 years since the Zen has lugged us every damn where. And seen us becoming more than just eating/drinking friends. It has seen us become professionals, exchanging business cards. It has seen us become each other's lifelines. Today we are an integral part of each other despite the different professions we are in and the different geographic locations we live in. And the Zen knows it. It knows what we mean to each other and what it means to us.

 

The Zen is making its last sacrifice in a few days - It will sell itself off for making the down payment for a new Fully automatic Honda City with Racing features. I hope the Honda City will love us as much. We'll try to love it too. But we never know.

* The pictures of the Zen will be up soon. As of now, please manage with a pic of us. This was the last time we went to Lonavla in the Zen...

The exquisite tragedy - My Best Friend's wedding.

Yes, I really never thought Poona would be about 4 busy working women who are my best friends and who would go out of their way to spend that extra hour with me and take time out for me, no matter what. Never thought Poona would be about fancy dinners and expensive clothes. Never thought Poona would also be about my best friend's wedding.

I was at Pune from 10th of Feb until the 13th. I was there for Piyu's wedding. Piyu's wedding was the most awaited event in the life of me and Shilpa (and of course in the life of Piyu and Chetan!)

We had a spinster party for Piyu. No there were no male strippers brought in with the bride in a limousine at Vegas over alcohol over flowing all over the place and with 50 of the bride's chic friends. The party had 3 people - The bride, Shilpa and me.

It had 2 phases. The first one started at about 10 AM and got over by 12 in the noon. There was some crazy clicking of pictures, checking out the bride's (much discussed) nightwear and li*ger*e (wink wink Piyu!) and of course - 'Piyu, brush kar! Mujhe bhook lagi hai!!!' The party had Poha, chai and vada-pav to eat, all consumed at the Joshi vade vale counter in BMCC lane.

Phase 2 was the night before the wedding - 3 of us pretending to be asleep in 3 beds in the same room at the venue of the wedding. Then there was some discussion about how we wish the wedding wasn't the next day and we could talk all night long without the fear of dark circles and swollen eyes for the bride.

The wedding started late the next day. It was a beautiful Maharashtrian wedding - simple and pure. There was a small girl, aged about 10 who sang Shubha Mangala Savadhan in the best way I've ever heard. The garlands were exchanged, the couple blessed and a tear rolled down Piyu's cheek - and that's when I decided I couldn't and wouldn't stay for the Bidaai (yes, the official send-off of the bride.) Yes, I was selfish. But seeing Piyu go was like giving my favouritest possession to someone - for no apparent reason.

I also felt the contrast between a guy's wedding and a girl's wedding. Cams's wedding was fun - he was bringing in someone new. But Piyu was going away. (In reality, Cams is gone to another girl whereas Piyu will be back to us right after her honeymoon!) We finished lunch and I almost instructed Chetan to love Piyu as much as we do, since anyway no one can love her more than us!

On my way back to Mayu's apartment, Poona had changed for me. It was a different world. Piyu was now married. Piyu was no more the girl with t-shirts that have wise cracks and denims folded up half way through her calf. Poona was no longer about the single Jinu and single Piyu not minding being called lesbian partners and being broke to the last penny on the 16th of the month.

Poona was now about Piyu's new home - with a husband; where all said and done I would be a guest, not a room mate.

* I know, the title sounds depressing. But that's how it is to give away your best friend or your sister to someone. 

Pune Times

No, Pune is not the Oxford of the east or the pensioner's paradise for me. For me, Pune is Poona - Poona is friends, college, food and me. Yes, what I am today is 60% Poona, 30 % childhood and family values and 10% Google, Hyderabad etc.

 

I went there when I was 15 and stayed there until 21. Until recently I used to say I lived alone in Poona. But saying that is as good as saying Piyu, Shilpa, Mayu, Gayu, Prachi, Nam, Cams and a whole bunch of people were never there for me. And that would be a blatant lie. I look back and think there has been no other time in my life when I was surrounded by so many people at the same time who love me so much.

 

My best memories of Poona range from lifting buckets of water on the my 7th floor apartment in Rasta peth to eating veggies floating in oil and pulses floating in water. Poona for me is racing with my sister on a 60 CC scooter with boys on 150 CC bikes - and us winning the races. Poona for me is spending an entire day over one cup of cappuccino among 10 people and looking cool. Poona is riding aimlessly across the town - picking up and dropping random people. Poona is dancing on the roof with Piyu with rain piercing through us. Poona is late night drives to Lonavla to spend the weekend with someone special and riding back that very morning because the girls are planning to meet up over a movie.

 

Poona is talking all night, night after night with friends trying to sort out each others not-so-complicated lives. Poona is BMCC and breakfast at KNP. It is fights with the gatekeeper over parking tickets and shedding fake tears at police station when scooty would be towed away. Poona is saving money through the entire month to go clubbing once and have 3 pints of Foster's beer. Poona is crashing at aunt's house when I was sick and when I was homesick.

 

Poona is eating at Flag's to celebrate, N number of punctured tyres with Gayu and getting drunk in Sru's apartment. Poona is reading Richard Bach all night long and getting mesmerized. It is watching the shittiest movie at E-square for the 10:30 am show - since it was cheap. Poona is the 1 bedroom apartment in Aundh and all the bittersweet memories attached with it.

 

Pune is Natural's ice cream at Pulse and choco dip at Cream California. Pune is uphill walks with Picku and going to the gym because the instructor was cute. Pune is sitting with Shilpa outside the Psychology department or at the open canteen. Pune is standing in extremely long queues at the university to apply for various certificates and sheets for various people.

 

Never thought Poona would be about 4 busy working women who are my best friends and who would go out of their way to spend that extra hour with me and take time out for me, no matter what. Never thought Poona would be about fancy dinners and expensive clothes. Never thought Poona would also be about my best friend's wedding. 

Yet another Best Friend's wedding...

Me and my sister went to check out a paying guest accommodation at Shivaji Nagar in Pune. A puny little girl opened the door. Me and Sony gave each other this look - 'snooty bitch. Huh. Wait till we come raid this place.'  Neither was she the snooty bitch nor were we the kinda girls who raid places.

 

We moved in a couple of days later. I was in 12th grade and her in 2nd year of college. We stayed up all night that night and by morning I knew her almost as well as I knew myself. We then lived together for the next 4 years. I moved to Hyderabad and her to Bangalore (convenient, I know!) We moved from being friends to being like sisters to teachers, role models, guides and a whole bunch of things in these many years.

 

Just like any other special relationship - It was one without too many things in common except for perseverance and the wish to be together through good times and bad. Yes, there were the fights and phases of - "she does not understand me." It is because of her that the saying 'Blood is thicker than water' ceased to exist in my life.

 

She is getting married to a very lovable person in 10 days from today. It scares me - I am just back from one best friend's wedding and walking straight into another one's with single blues keeping me company. While this happens, I know she will still remain my lighthouse when I am lost, my bank when I am broke, my blanket when I am cold, my mad chic when I need a laugh, my devil's advocate and more than anything else - my crystal ball. Yes, she can see things for me with cent percent accuracy. (And I wont hold it against her if she ever goes fully wrong.)

 

This post is probably not to hold people's interest but to say that I love her much and since this blog is one of my dearest inanimate objects/places, she sure as hell deserves to be here with me.

 

This post is also to inspire my readers to write something about those lovely people who haven't come made a difference and left, but who have come, made a difference and will continue being there forever. There are no right words for these people. But I know as you read this Piyu, you know how I feel. 

Of weddings, reunions and fun.

I had looked forward to this time in Delhi for so long that I had started fearing it would not stand up to my expectations - and I was terribly wrong. Despite some very unfortunate events at NB's place, I managed having a gala time at the wedding and meeting the boys. 

I stayed with NB and did not sleep all night on 28th. 29th was meeting Sruthy. (it's her with the curlers, sitting at the salon.) 29th was also the night of the fancy cocktail party and seeing the boys after about 3 long years!! It was just so weird to see those college hooligans dressed in Black suits and clean shaven. We all drank and bonded over food in the cold cold Delhi evening. 

We headed home at about midnight and had another night of endless conversations. The next day was going for 'a' drink at @Live at CP in Delhi. The 'a' drink ended up being 'a few' drinks and we were scared to drive back home in the drunken state. After getting ready for the wedding, I witnessed 2 of my life's first times - 

a. A friend's wedding.

b. A BIG FAT Indian wedding. 

After attending the baraat and trying to control the drunk boys, the beauty of the ceremony started sinking in. Seeing my friend and his wife go through the rituals of a Hindu wedding somehow gave the feeling of everything being right despite all that they have gone through in the last so many months. I could not have imagined him with anyone else next to him in the 'shaadi ka mandap.' 

After saying an emotional goodbye to him (since this was a scary one!) we reaced home well past 4 am. After a couple of hours of sleep and a rather shocking news from Nidhi's uncle's place, I headed to my cousin's place and met my little niece for the first time. It was then time to meet a very very special friend over a drink - something we had planned for a long time. We then headed to his place for the rest of the evening. The night was fun - 3 movies, Maggi, cranberry juice and staying up all night. 

4 30 am was the time to leave for New Delhi station and travel back home. D dropped me to the sation and it sucked to say bye to him. I enjoyed his company so much this time around. 

I know this is a bad update for a great vacation, but the most special things in life are the most difficult to write about. 

Picture Gallery: 

* Me and NB in our same ol' pose. 

* NB and Sruthy having a giggle fit over snooty Delhi babes

* DC and Cow - after sooo long!

* Sruthy straightening her curls

* Finally - the bride and the groom at the cocktail party. 

My Best Friend's Wedding

Before I write about the wedding, the reunions and the fun, I have to write a small note for the person whose wedding I went for. 

KB or Cams (as me and NB call him) is my friend from college. We were introduced by our Economics professor in 2nd year of college. There was the usual 'let's go have breakfast, I am starving' and there was 'what are you upto this evening?' We would call each other up everyday for something or the other and it then became habit. We were the kind of friends who had nothing in common to start with - interests, lifestyles, hobbies - nothing. Except for the fact that we were outstation students and found company in each other killing time.

We have now come to a point in life where we have everything in common. We have shared everything from clothes,utensils, vehicles, apartments, joys, sorrows - to life in general. 6 years of crazy fights to late night movies to uncontrollable giggles to being there for each other through memory lapses and road accidents we have seen far more than what we had planned to. 

He finally got wedded on Jan 30, 2009 at New Delhi to a girl with whom he has persevered a lot to make the relationship work. 

Me and him are strongly wishing, hoping, praying that things don't change much between us. It was a relief to get the ritual 'good morning' call this morning - Never expected it on the 1st day of his wedded life! 

As I deal with my slight sense of loss, I pray to God to give me the strength to understand that I cannot call him up at 2:00 AM asking for attention or throw an unwarranted fit since I am feeling unloved. I cannot claim my right on the front seat of the car or pick up things from his house like they are all mine. 

At the end of it all, I know we are special friends and much as life may change, the love will remain. 

Valentine Day Violets (no space for blues in my life you see!)

That's the best thing about blogging. Your friends write something that prompts you also to write something and sometimes you read your friends' blog and you know they have drawn inspiration from your last post. I love this thing blogging does to us - invoke thought process. 

My 1st inspiration of the day - Myulee - wrote about her valentine. And it put me to thought. I am a staunch believer of the concept of love is to be celebrated everyday. So valentine day obviously has no special place in my heart. But honestly, its like saying I am a Hindu so I do not like Christmas. Of course I like Christmas and like to do my 2 bits by gifting stuff around. 

So as valentine day approaches, romanticism starts shouting on my face that I am single. I know it for a fact that I am either not going to find someone special at least until Feb 15 or that I am gonna lose this one that I have. I am invariably single on this day and I have to manage with pseudo valentines - best friends, another single guy friend and sometimes even my parents!

This valentine day is no different - I am single (and very sure no miracle will happen in the next 20 days) and to top it all - 2 of my most favourite valentines (my 2 best friends from college) will be married by that day. Sigh!  

Thankfully, I am not alone and at office that day. I have plans to 'catch a drink and grab a bite' with a guy whom I sort of crushed on a few months ago. Let's see now how it turns out! 

Living, Learning, Loving.

How long does it take to fall in love?

 

A moment? A day? A month? No - it takes about 2 years.

 

What does it take to fall in love?

 

The first look? Drunkenness? The first brush of hands? No - It takes months of understanding and hard work.

 

I realized today that it will be 3 years since I've known NB. And I am effortlessly in love with her. And a bunch of other people. Eight of them to be precise. These are the 8 people with whom I have no blood ties and these are the 8 people who are the essence of my living. They all love me back equally or maybe more. These 8 people are my 8 best friends.

 

And when I say I love them, it is quite literally that. It is an ideal love affair with all 8 of them. It is effortless and easy. We give a lot to each other in terms of time and attention. We are physically present (as far as possible) when required, we spend nights over long phone calls counseling, helping, adoring each other.

 

With each of them I can sit quietly in a room all my life and not find the silence awkward. I can call them up at 2:00 am and when they ask "what happened?" I can say "Nothing." Yes, I do not have an ego debating whether I should call/sms/email them. I shout at them and fight with them over nothing. I am not anxious that I'll lose them. I have reached a stage where the love is there and it is established. Nothing can take it away. Then it does not matter how often they call up or if they think of me every minute. They need not call me or think of me often. They love me and I know it.

 

Why am I writing all this? I, like a lot of other people, thought I am not cut out for romantic love. Men don't last more than a few months in my life. I was convinced I am a difficult person to be with. (or too simple and straight forward for some people's liking!) But each time I think this way, I also think of those 8 people. I have invested a lot in those relations.

 

A lot of time and effort and even sleepless nights. We have had bickering fights and misunderstandings and hating certain traits about each other. But we stuck around. Mutually. And it took about 2 to 2.5 years with each one of them to reach this stage of security. I mean there was a lot of love within a couple of months but there was some fear with each argument and there was some effort in keeping the other person happy. The effort is still there, but the effort is painless. It is a part of me to make an effort to keep these people happy and make them feel loved. I willingly do it.

 

For the Nth time in my life, I am convinced - perseverance is all it takes to make a relationship last. Nobody is perfect for anyone. It is just the willingness to live and love the imperfections. 

Just the usual...

Randomness begins -

 

 

1. Priya has a blog!! I never knew that! Somehow in all these months we never spoke about our blogs!  Priya was Google's one-stop-shop for full fledged entertainment. The girl who will make you laugh incessantly - literally and will shed tears at the drop of a hat. I totally adore her (like every other Googler.) After all these months,  I still have these Priya moments where I am reminded of her acting like the 60's bollywood heroine and I break into fits of laughter!

 

2. Piyu is anxious about getting married and is worried about such dumb things. We (me, Piyu and Shilpa)  are going --dash-- shopping for her. (Fill in the blanks. Hint - we will shop for THE most important thing for a girl when she is a newly wed bride. Rather a new wife  ;-)

 

She counseled me last night. Somehow when she speaks I want to believe her. There are very few people in life in front of whom you willingly let go of emotions and logic both. They are the people whose judgments you can blindly trust. Even about the most important things of your life. She is one of those. I am saying it probably for the Nth time - I have NO freakin idea what I'd do without her in my life!

 

3. Dad's taking me to Pachmarhi - to help me recoup with whatever the stress shit was. It will be about 2 degrees there. Woohoo! And it's a father-daughter vacation! (since mom's doing a father-daughter vacation with her dad!)

 

4. There are so many pending movies to watch. Wonder when will I stop getting sleepy. I am missing my late night movies and phone calls. (sorry peeps, who have been trying to reach me and I haven't been answering! I've seen all the missed calls and will call back. Promise.)

 

5. My firm is looking for getting funded. I am making a Business Plan/VC report with my CEO! Ya!! I had never imagined I would do this at this age and stage of my career. Though I still do not feel too convinced about the job and the organization, I am starting to feel less pessimistic about it now.

 

6. I want to have cup cakes, slap some pseudo Indians who can't speak Hindi (bah!) and

 

7. I fully empathize with D. (D is my cousin who is going through the process of arranged marriages in India, that is, selecting guys.) She thought the guy is too huge for her and so rejected him. Given how well educated the guy is and what a good family he comes from, the older ones of the family see no reason why she did that. But I fully empathize with her. These things sound dumb but sometimes what matters is just the big 'NO' that your head and heart shout when you see some people.

 

Randomness over.

 

 

Trivial and still consuming.

I reached home last evening at about 7. Just as I stepped outta the car, NB called up. We hadn't caught up in a long long time. The last time we spoke to our heart's content was day before yesterday. We spoke for 57 minutes when my mom began her usual screeching - 

Mom to me - "That's why you have those headaches! you are stuck to you damn phone all day!" (Ma! puhleez! I go to work!) 

Mom to me - "You will get a freakin hunch back and also those cardio vascular diseases associated with long use of cell phones!" (Mom, like really! Just the other day you said my bones would melt if I had Pepsi! gimme a break, I ain't dying so fast!)

Mom to dad: "She is supposed to freshen up and sit with her books and study! And you, Mister! Don't YOU have an exam in Feb? Like father, like daughter - no focus in life only big aims thats all....blah....blah....God save the world!" By this time we have mentally muted and unmuted her a few times.

Anyway. coming back to me and NB, we spoke of getting Lesbian visas and sex change, we spoke of the sudden deluge of men in life and how they all come with 25 stones of weight which we can't and won't carry. Dinner was all those yum things (Oriya food was dinner last night) I wonder how mum manages churning such tasty food day after day and has so much variety to offer!

I tucked myself in at about 2230 and read a few short stories. Layla and Majnun takes the cake. It ain't the story of helpless, mad love but the story where Layla performs her duties as a devout wife, dies a natural death (cardiac arrest) and breathes the name of Majnun while she dies. I was happy. I never read of Layla and Majnun since I thought of it as a mad love love-story. I hate hopeless love stories which bleed with emotions. They give me jitters!

I slept a peaceful, undisturbed sleep after so so long. (It has nothing to do with the short story :D ) I did not wake up even once all night. Life is this satisfaction of having nothing special and so the lack of fear of losing that something.

The quintessential question

Buds taggged Sree and the one thing that crosses Sree's mind (and the minds of most 23 and above Indian girls) deserves to be addressed on my blog! She says - 

"What's the fixation with marriage and right age vs marriage and right person?"

Exactly! In fact I think it is more like a fixation with "marriage at the right age with the right person"

No, just think about this - how much burden it is, to find the right person at the right time and do the maybe right or not-so-right thing with him/her - that is get married! 

And the right time is also the right time to finish higher education, it is also the right time to save money, to travel, to give love to friends and family, it is the right time to do things to your heart's content and above all, the ONLY right time to discover who you are! Imagine fitting so many things into the same time-slot! What do you do with the rest of your life, damnit! Raise pigs?

And talking about the right person! Now, this is tricky! The definition of right person has changed so often in the past and has become so rigid now, that I have almost given up on finding the 'right' person. I have moved from finding the 'waiter at my college canteen' to 'the guy I spoke to for 3 mins 20 secs on my last drunken night' as being right for me. Beat that. Buds asked me what I want from my guy and I went to such fine details, it looked like I was getting a saree embroidered. She finally said I was unrealistic! If I tell what is it that I want in that 'right' person, you will take 4 seconds to tag me lesbian. So I won't even get there. 

Marriage - The last part of the drama! The time is right* and the boy is right*. Does anybody ever ask is the concept of marriage itself right? No, I am not a commitment phobic or a 'radical-for-the-sake-of-it' trying to doubt the credibility of an age old concept. My parents probably have the most beautiful wedded life in the world - 30 yrs of crazy mad love. And I am very sure I want it too. But that said, do you gamble with something so sacred/beautiful/dangerous and place it on the matrix of time and resources?

Well, I am glad I am faced with all this but in a superbly moderate way and I easily have a couple of years more to seek answers. Phew! 

* Definitions: 

Right time - Varies from 23 to 27 (based on whether you are Punjabi, South Indian, Bengali, Marwari etc.)

Right guy - Slightly more educated than the girl or at least equally well educated. Not too many unmarried siblings. A nice fat pay packet, decent looking (Parents consider moustache a plus point, if they are South Indians.) Again, the definition of right guy varies from region to region. Typically:

Northie - Own business, Owns a swank car and preferably a house of his own. Definitely parental property. 

Southie - "Hello. My name is Raj Shekhar. I am from REC Suratkal/IIT Bombay/IIM Bangalore/ISB/NUS/Kelloggs. I am working for Oracle/Sun Micro systems/Wipro/Infy/Microsoft. I have an elder bro/sis (married, settled in the US) I have a green card/I'll be moving to the States in a couple of months."

And the age old concept of company t-shirt and laptop bag! (Yuck!!)

Disclamier - No offense to anyone here, just penned down the trends I have noticed!