But dearest friends, I mean cars, alas! must part.

Sigh… yet another goodbye. No, no one's getting married this time. The Maruti Zen which has given us girls, undeniably, the best times of our life is being sold off.

 

'Us girls' refers to the gang of 6 crazy girls 5 of whom have been together since Std 11 and a new entry in Second Yr college. We had 3 scooties among the 5 of us until 2nd year of college. In those 4 years we have traversed the length and breadth of Poona in a way that no one else would have in their lifetime. We have jumped signals for kicks (come on! We were young girls, we are excused silly behavior!) and lied to cops and cried at the police station for hours (trying to look as natural as we could in the midst of giggle fits.) when those lil bikes were towed away.

 

Our first time out together was in 11th Std - pizzas, wine and trying smokes for the first time in of those lanes at Koregaon Park - Some of us were nervous, some were drunk and some were trying to figure out how a cigarette is lit. But all of us were enjoying. That evening made one of us a smoker, one of us a drunkard (well almost) and 2 of us found a strange connection with each other with food being the path.

 

We continued eating and drinking and loving each other. And then one of us bought a car - a Maruti Zen. And there was a new girl with curls like no one else. And she had a connection with us - of drinking and eating.  That was the turning point. The scooties would only take us to a common destination from where we would load ourselves into the car. And the eating and drinking increased manifold since the sun, rain and nigh time could not harm us much now and since there was a new person to join us. The love was showered on the Zen too. The Zen has seen 3 of us bitch about the other 3 (many times in different permutations). It has seen 5 of us laugh like the world's ending and one of us crying like there's no tomorrow. It has cooperated in every single insane prank played by the owner. It has taken us to college, to the court, to the university, to clubs, pubs, restaurants, movie halls, NDA, Khadakwasla, Lonavla, railway station, bus stops  where not.

 

It has been 5 years since the Zen has lugged us every damn where. And seen us becoming more than just eating/drinking friends. It has seen us become professionals, exchanging business cards. It has seen us become each other's lifelines. Today we are an integral part of each other despite the different professions we are in and the different geographic locations we live in. And the Zen knows it. It knows what we mean to each other and what it means to us.

 

The Zen is making its last sacrifice in a few days - It will sell itself off for making the down payment for a new Fully automatic Honda City with Racing features. I hope the Honda City will love us as much. We'll try to love it too. But we never know.

* The pictures of the Zen will be up soon. As of now, please manage with a pic of us. This was the last time we went to Lonavla in the Zen...

But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?

Guess what?! I watched TV today... like not news, but other entertainment channels. (Indian politics and other news items are also entertaining, not denying it.) These are my observations from the minute I switched on the TV - 

1. TATA Sky is awesome. I mean digital TV is better than cable TV. We've had digital TV for the last many years (since it was launched in India) but I think today was when I actually watched TV with like loads of attention. It makes the 'surfing' and the viewing experience so much better. 

2. There is no dance show like Boogie Woogie. It's been there since I was in school, like 4th Std or something. Off late there have been shows like Nach Baliye, Jhalak Dikhlaja, Dance India Dance and what not. They are these melodramatic shows with little or no real talent. But boy the talent Boogie Woogie contestants have, it is crazy. I watched it today again and the way Javed, Naved conduct the show is plain, simple and nice. 

3. It is bloody IPL time!!! Are my esteemed readers aware that I am this crazy cricket fanatic!? Yes I can even watch test matches, 5 days at a row with not necessarily India featuring in it. And I feel SO damn guilty that I still don't know the IPL team composition. :( My Sunday schedule is to figure out which team has which players and choose my team. (Since I am more of an Indian than a Punjabi, Hyderabadi or a Delhiite, I will choose my team totally bias-free)

Ok now beyond TV - 

I am damn happy today, for no particular reason. :))) Yes, I am all smiles! I have a few movies that I can watch tonight and some kickass books lined up for my reading pleasure. I am all set to pack my bags and to go awayyy! (I am not thinking of the other not-so-pleasant things which I have no control over.) 

Aren't ya'll happy for me? :) 

Sending loads and loads of hugs and kisses for allll of you who need it. :)

* Oh btw, I have put on weight. Not being sad (decided not to) but just letting you know. Will go for a run from Wednesday onwards. And will start gyming from April 10th. OK Tata ByeBye.

Buzzzzzzzz.....

I had to write. There is no other way out. There are just tooooo many thoughts out there.

 

1. 1. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Nor do I want to listen.  I will not answer phone calls, fine. But how do I tell my folks at home? They look forward to me coming home so that they can talk and hear me talk. Sigh! But I am so glad I am up here in my room for the next 8 hours.

 

2. 2. I can't wait to go away, now that I know I am going away. And it is upsetting to see mom so upset about it. She ain't saying it loud but drops these rather loud hints. Their insecurity is killing me. They feel I'll never be with them again. Eight damn years I stayed away and 8 months suddenly make them so miserable? They talk things like - "us oldies of the family should settle down in one place." Hell it makes me feel as if they are all gonna build themselves a freakin old age home!

 

I don’t know about uncles and aunts but my parents sure deserve better. And me and sister are more than clear about it. Mom still hasn’t lived her dream of wearing nice frocks with a hat and walking on the streets of London on a sunny day. How can she even TALK about that stupid old age home setting! Disgusts me.

 

3. 3. Everyone in my family (even distant relatives)  is killing himself/herself (and me in the process) over  my B-school. I wonder why they are obsessing so much. I wanted to do the damn MBA because I thought what they teach out there is fab if you went to the right place. Precisely why all the struggle to go to that damn Harvard. But now I've started feeling/behaving like a stubborn child who doesn't want to do something because everyone else is insisting.

 

Hell, why can't people tell me that I should do what I want to. Why do they start the sentence with -" I want you to…."  To hell with what you want!

 

4. 4. Good things that happen in a day help us live with the not-so-good things. Every stage of my life I have come across someone who is very much like me. Like really very much. And this person has just appeared from nowhere, clicked in one go and stayed forever or for really long in my life. It has happened again. Utopia she is. My blogger twin. Our wavelengths (read: embarrassing stories and weird minds) matched and we confided in each other quite a bit right on our 2nd chat. We haven't met yet and I already feel awesome about her. Welcome to my life,  girl. Hope you are here to stay! And yes, I'll see you in April.

 

       5.  My company is broke. Momentarily. And the auspicious moment happens to be the time I am also quitting! They owe me about a lakh of rupees. And I have no idea if they will clear my dues this 31st (my last day!) or not. As you all know I am being shipped to a secret location. But hell, the secret location is this expensive tier 1 city of India. Damn I need the freakin dough! 

Yes there's dad but come on! It is weird to just keep taking non-stop. He is not a very rich man. It is kinda strange but for the first time I am feeling crushed because of finances. I've seen more than enough financial crunches but never felt so disheartened and never have I been upset for days over it. May be it is the 6 figure that's making it difficult. God please, I need you to intervene.

 

Thanks guys, for putting up with this insipid post about my insipid life.

 I sound like such a cry baby. Shit. 

...yet again about elections - you think I'm diseased?

Ok please excuse me, I am still obsessing over the elections. Kindly bear with me -

 

I was watching an early morning show on NDTV which is called 'Youth for change.' The journo went to Presidency college, Kolkata and was talking to the students. They are the typical intellectual student community  but have a long way to go. When asked about how would they choose their leader, they spoke of Recession and Terrorism - definitely 2 big issues at the moment but not the only criteria for choosing your Government for the next term. I don't blame them poor kids. When I was their age, I am sure even I spoke of the topics that had max media coverage.

 

What I am trying to say is - it is important for media houses to educate these collegians into the nitty gritties of policy issues. There is a whole game of geo-politics, (which I think should be an important factor while choosing leaders ) issues of trade agreements and the stand of different parties on these issues and very importantly - the issue of the poor of the country - food, clothing, shelter. Transparency, governance, sustainability etc are some other important aspects. And I say these should be looked into while peaking at agendas and manifestos because a political parties stand on these important issues determines the nation's growth. It is a cumbersome process and there is nothing like some solid tv show/road show talking about these things and creating mass appeal.

 

I honestly think we have to move beyond talking about the most talked stuff. 

Growing up is a process. Not an event.

Ok so it seems I am growing up... or is old the word? Ok no, I am growing up. 

I can feel the change in me. I no more want to wear my t-shirts with those skulls drawn on them and stupid wise-cracks. Those denims cut into half and those crazy cargo pants are all gone now. I have moved to wearing simpler tees, I am no more wearing shorts and parading around the town. I wear nice striped and buttoned shirts to work. I enjoy wearing those pretty kurtas and nice churidars. Make me feel like a girl. I like it I think. :) 

I do not melt as rapidly anymore. I know late night phone calls don't always mean something. I do not approve of things I cannot live with. For ex. Someone is a bad listener but otherwise sweet? To hell with you - good listener is top 3 in my list of criteria. And I am addressing my needs and not compromising anymore. 

I am more aware of the fact that my parents are growing old. Daddy is daddy and not Rambo. They need to and want to be closer to their siblings. I won't fuss around about not being in the North. Let them be where they find peace. I am also in terms with the compromises that I will have to make as I settle down. Settling down itself will be a compromise for a compulsive nomad like me. But I will. For the love of parents. They will eventually need to be taken care of. 

I am not anti-discipline anymore. On second thoughts, I never was. But I am not fussy about restrictions and deadlines any more. Some age old rules like don't be out all alone until too late in the night and don't spend forever over the fone suddenly seem to be making sense. Or maybe because I know that these are probably my last 2 weeks with parents for a really really long time. So I am ready to live with all this. 

I still like my rock music and I still wear my iPod around my neck 24/7. I still haven't gotten rid of my fettish for crazy bags and footwear. But I think it's fine. I still miss my friends like crazy. (which should now reduce. Sooner the better.)

I am looking forward to making my coffee myself and toasting my bread myself. I am looking forward to not getting idlis and aloo-paratha on demand. I am looking forward to not going to office. I know it can be really tough living with the person with whom I am going to be with for the next few months. But it's fine. She loves me. So what if she is a little irrational, she means no harm afterall. 

I know none of these things seem like great signs of 'growing up' to most of you. I am someone who was always very practical, matter-of-factly and almost always did 'the right thing'. But the wild-child used to come out with vengeance every now and then - with those crazy ass, unimaginable things I would do. That wild-child is now settling down. I am doing the right things not because they are supposedly right but because now no other way seems to exist. 

Though I really wish, hope, pray I won't smile any lesser with the wild-child dying down. 

The 8 week break in the 8th city for those 8 months after those 8 years.

Alright Mike! It’s time for some change! Parents will probably shift base from North India to South India - roots calling it seems! Which means I will also shift base - but not to where ma-pa will go. I am off to another city - a city where almost all my love(ed ones/rs hehehe) live! And guess what? I am not allowed to tell anybody that I am in that city!

 

According to my parents, this is supposedly a break where I concentrate only and only on my exams and catch up on some reading and exercising. They think 8 months is too long to stay with parents after 8 years of staying alone - and they are freakin right! So this is an 8-week paid break to do my thing in a lavish 4 bedroom apartment with everything being taken care of! So what If I wont have company, never mind I can indulge into some ones-rampant vices of my life and get a kick ;-)

 

So I am damn glad I have parents who understand and know me so well. It is hard to be in 'that' city and not tell anyone. :( But what the hell, it's only 8 weeks and neither me or them are dying without each other. This is my last chance to redemption. And I owe my parents (and myself) some real ass-kickin' scores and a feckin' awesome admit. And to hell with everything else.

 

Though I am really concerned if my Telugu-turned-Hindi parents will ever manage being Hindi-turned-Telugus!

 

And in case I din't say it before, this will be the 8th town I'd be moving to in my life! So many 8s... hmmm… an 800 score on GMAT is next, may be? :D

 

 

Happy Birthday Chonikudi!

I once convinced a girl 5 years older than me that I am the female-avataar of lord Krishna and that she should touch my feet. That way I would free her of all her woes. And she did. That girl was my elder sister.

 

Things haven't changed much yet. She continues to be my elder sister and I continue to take her on a ride every now and then. Though she is living the promise I made to her. She continues to free me, the lord, of all woes. She is not just my sister - she is my life, my love, my everything. We have moved past being each other's friends, philosophers and guides. Now there is only word that can explain what Sony means to me - she means life to me. Literally.

 

We have been and continue to be each other's pets.

 

I have never felt so crippled in expressing love for someone. So I will skip that part and will scribble a few crazy things I remember about us -

 

1. My earliest memories - She used to read out loud tables from 2 to 10. She was so loud and she read them so often that when I was 3 years old, I knew by heart all of them. I am not kidding.

 

2. She would let me sleep during study hours (since I used to be perennially sleepy. Not like things have changed much now) on one condition - that she gets to sketch/paint secretly (yes, she is an awesome artist) in the disguise of those long books.

 

3. We would go out to play with the kids in the neighborhood and she would make sure I do not lose the game or have to do any of those annoying things like chasing people in a running game. She knew my legs hurt and I cannot pace up with the boys.

 

4. She would tell me amusing stories of the exciting life she lived, all alone, in Poona. And all that I wanted back then was join her the very next year. And I did.

 

5. Poona would obviously not be one hundredth as nice for me if not for her. We went EVERYWHERE ourselves. We would fill the fuel tank in our scooty/activa and go around the town. Like one end to the other - with NO work! Yes… we would just go roam about, check out guys, eat something cheap if we were hungry. We did not need friends, boy friends, family nothing. We were so-o-o self sufficient and probably the happiest duo in the entire town. Even now, the thing we tell each other during tough times is - "kanna, don't worry. I'll soon come and we'll go ride around the town. Ok?"

 

6. And a birthday memory - we would go to Ganpati temple in the morning, then Idli breakfast, then movie tix, visit to aunt's house, lunch (egg curry and roti) at east street, movie at west end and THEN meet friends well after 6 in the evening. That was routine for both birthdays.

 

7. She was my bank, my ATM. We never took extra money from parents for our frivolous expenses. Sony would work part time at some place or the other and we would spend every single penny on having fun - movies, fancy food, some clothes, anything!

 

8. We have counseled each other about every single thing in life. We have no secrets. NO SECRETS AT ALL. There is only one person the world I share my passwords with and that's her. And I know no one will ever get that right. I repeat - no one.

 

9. There are soooo many other things I can't and won't write on this blog. Except that I have been with her on every single birthday of hers, save this one. Yes, it's her birthday today and we only love each other 100 times more than how much we did a year ago. We can't help it. We are addicted to each other.

 

Happy Birthday Sony. I promise you will see me on the cover of TIME magazine soon. I love you. 

P.S: Sony's real name is Sonali. We call each other the same names, but the ones exclusive for her are Chonee and Chonikudi. :) 

Sporadic and not ______

It is easier to write about politics and cricket than to write about my life these days. Good sign or bad?

 

I worked out today. After really long. And I could hear the joints creaking, saying thank you. Thank you for making use of us and waking us up from this slumber after 2 full months. I am loving that pull in my thigh and the way my arm moves only in one direction. I chucked a sweaty t-shirt into the washing machine after so long. I love how I hate to have hair on my neck after a workout session. The lightness of being.

 

No, I haven't paid up at the gym yet. Because it's expensive and I am perennially broke. And no, I did not go by the beautiful lake for a run. I fear street dogs and mom fears rowdies. So it was jogging at home, stairs for the stepper, the usual crunches on the floor and a whole lot of dancing to some club music. Yes, about an hour and half of total work out. And I feel lighter. Physically and mentally.

 

I wonder what came to me today but I read some old emails and some old notes/diaries. Ok, maybe they are not so old after all. I felt damn sad for the way things, relationships and some people turned out to be. I was trying damn hard to feel some anger for those people, but unfortunately I could not move beyond sadness. Wonder why I take charge of things in such a Gandhi-an style.

 

Utopia posted the song Lucky (Jason Mraz and Colbie) on her blog and said she hasn't been lucky. (read the lyrics to get the context.) I had been lucky ones and trashed it out the window. It's excused. We were only kids then. And another time, never realized I could and should have gotten lucky. So scared I was. And so was he. Shame on us. We know how we felt. 

And now, I know why some people say they sing well. They want me to ask them to sing. But I won't. Boys singing and the after-effects have always been quite disastrous. And I know my lack of any particular fondness for Orchids (and other flowers), Violins (and other stringed instruments), late-night phone calls (and sms-es), and similar 'sweet' things ticks off some people. But I can't help it. I've faked fondness a couple of times to realize how much I end up disliking the people who make me fake it. Let's have it the other way round this time. You hate me instead. 

 

I spent about 4 hours with my GMAT books. Do you know spending time with books does not equate to studying? Seriously. It doesn't. But I am an optimist. I hope I will spend the next 2 hours doing SOMETHING constructive at least. That bitch of an exam has to be dealt with. Boredom, please come by a little later. I swear I am busy. 

Lok Sabha Elections and my wasted obsession!

It is not easy being a 24 year old MBA aspirant during days of stunted economic growth and political instability. Though it helps that my dad is a public-sector employee without the threat of recession lurking over his head.

 

My blog might make people think I am obsessed with politics and elections. But the turn of events in the last few months have been such that I can't seem to get the damn thing out of my mind. Today I spent about 3 hours reading up about various political parties and alliances and their election agenda/manifestos etc. At the end of it I concluded that which people have known since age eternity -

 

Politicians go blind in the love of power. They completely forget the cause for which they should be contesting an election.

There cannot be 75% votes for any one party and it will no doubt be a coalition government. (The very thought scares me. There should be a way if the resultant PM is the likes of Mayawati, we as public are able to discard her as our national leader.)

 

If we look at a hypothetical situation where every constituency elects the best people's representative for  lok-sabha, we can still not guarantee that the party with the best national leader will win the election, since all parties are mixed baskets - rotten apples and nice apples.

 

In another situation, If people casted votes for party 'X' since it has the best prime-ministerial candidate, it does not mean the local representative at the lok sabha will do any good for his constituency. He might be the biggest convict in your locality, for all you know. If Rahul Gandhi for instance is your next dream leader, it will mean electing congress in local constituencies and you might just have to vote for a 80 year old murder for that lok-sabha seat of your constituency!

 

Also, the point to note is, the affairs of the state are handled by the state govt. and so the entire mess of  how do you maintain sync in lok-sabha and rajya-sabha elections. Plus you never know which small party or independent candidate will go shake hands with whom. Uff!

 

The conclusion being it is anyway a Catch 22 situation for 'aam junta' like us. And we cannot deny it, there will still be security slip-ups and corruption no matter which ever party rules. Ours is a bloody big country and running it in a corporate setting is such a stupid pipe-dream.

 

Ideally, there have to be 543 clean-record educated candidates for EACH and EVERY constituency of India. I am not talking about 'cool, suit-tie' leaders but a very well planned system where these candidates go through rigorous training for understanding the problems in their constituency and state-of-affairs of the country in general AND THEN they go campaigning in such a way that they win both urban and rural votes. Let's face it, most of our population is in the villages and they care 2 hoots if you are from IIT. But if you really ARE from IIT and able to answer their questions about food, clothing and shelter - you have BOTH rural and urban votes. City lads love it if you are that crème with the nation as your cause.

 

And these educated people will make educated choices - the professionals like IAS, IPS officers, bureaucrats etc will help them learn these nitty-gritties and make wise choices.

 

Oh I know I've been brooding too much over it and I also feel terrible for being the only-words-no-action bloggers, but I don't know how to start! Else I swear I would have. The logistics are just so complicated and daunting! And this is where the doom begins - so many of jinus blogging and unable to use technology to make a real difference. Sigh!

 

* A quick snippet - 

UPA = UPA +Trinamool - SP

NDA = NDA -BJD

Third Front = Communists + assorted regional parties

Expect this equation to keep changing till we go to the polls and after it as well.

Resources - http://www.indian-elections.com/ and today's edition of TOI and HT! 

Buzzzzzzzz.... again!

OMG I am DYYINNGGG to write about the usual... I could have done with an interesting climax-filled post for all the not-so-eventful events of life but I'll just cut the crap and will make do with a simple, no nonsense update. 

Dad slipped and fell off in the bathroom at some hotel room in a town where he'd gone for a few days. Dad being dad took it lightly only to realize that the rods in his arm from the accidenta couple of years ago (dreadful and nighmarish yet miraculous escape and life being given back by some strange power) had slipped a few inchess and poked his bone. He was rushed back to town and a few x-rays concluded that all the 3 rods (including the ones on his leg) had to be removed. I spent 4 days at the hospital, sleeping on the sofa and eating almost nothing. It is the toughest thing to see - parents going through all this. 

I read Utopia's latest post and went into 8X rewind into my life - all the people with gruffy voices, beautiful eyes, givers, takers and so many other people who made me wait eagerly and nervously for something. Like 10th Board results. I suddenly realized I think of all those people fondly but there is no one these days who makes me queasy in my stomach or makes me look at the phone until the battery drains out of unlocking and locking it or makes me refresh my emails every 90 seconds. Sigh....! It is so weird - when we want it, we dont get it. When we get it, we dont want it...and that's life they say. 

I am so career obsessed that I think I have lost all understanding of why actually I want that MBA from a dream school. What's painful is that my obsession is not turning out to be fruitful. I wonder how I've become such a procrastinator and a lazy bum. The morning jogs arent happening, the sitting with books isnt happening, the taking charge of life is not happening... I even know all the gyan about getting my ass down to doing things etc. But I just feel like i want to do nothing!! 

OK too much cribbing is bad for both me and the blog...so I will stop here wondering about my favorite topics - my career and the phone that no more makes me stare at it... 

Rights and Duties go hand in hand.

This is what most of us did over the last few months/years - 

We blogged and bitched about blasts in Jaipur, Bangalore Gujarat, the economic melt down, about Mumbai attacks, and about our ever favorite topics - Shiv Sena, Ram Sene and communism. With or without blogs, we still bitched a lot about Fodder scam, Tehelka, Bofors, Naxals, LTTE, Godhra, Babri Masjid, Ayodhya, Flight hijacks, safety slip ups etc etc. 

We shouted out to the world about how open minded and awesome our generation is. 

We felt proud that we are aware citizens who speak our mind out and do not mind protesting, creating focus groups etc. We bitched non stop with our pride intact and concluded event after event that we need a better leader. 

Until someone someday shook us and said - 

"Bob, the farmers and the slum dwellers go and vote. Not you. So bastard/bitch just shut the f*** up and live with it. And if you can't, go and cast your damn vote." (If no one ever said this to you - then consider me telling this to you on behalf of every single awakened Indian citizen.) 

To cut the long story short - if you are a blogger or even remotely tech savvy and happen to come across this - I will urge you to get your voter ID card and cast your vote. If you thought the entire process is painfully long, there is www.jaagore.com which not only makes the process just 5 mins long, but also helps you get rid of a few voting myths. 

I have a voter ID card and I voted for the state elections last year. Elections are around the corner again and I will vote again. And I will vote each time there is an election in my country - so that I can write about issues that matter to me and not feel guilty. I don't want to carry the burden of being a poor citizen. It is a big weight to carry. I am a proud daughter, sister, friend and a proud individual. I want to be a proud citizen too. 

I also know that casting your vote is just step-1. Step 2 probably is trying to clean the nation by getting our hands into the muck - Yes, to contest elections. It might take us about 3 decades to cleanse and purify this mess. But at least we will be a part of the change, a catalyst and will give a happy nation to our future generations.

If you are reading this post, I will love it if you leave your comment and tell me if you

a. have a voters ID card (if not, you know that www.jaagore.com is the place to go.)

b. will cast your vote this year. If not, then why. 

I understand very well that it is my most fundamental right and my most important duty - to vote. I will fight until my last breath for the right to vote and will perform my duty as reliogiously as I brush my teeth. 

P.S - A special note for my non-Indian readers - This post stands true for you too, as long as you come from a democratic country where you have the right to vote. After all, if all the nations of the world have good leaders, we can all peacefully co-exist.