GMAT fever - Back with vengeance!

After days and weeks of contemplation and procrastination, I finally plan to spend a few hours with books today. Nail the bitch has again become the mantra of my life. I did what we all GMAT aspirants in India do when we plan - doing an MBA, taking a GMAT date, buying books, writing applications and choosing schools - login to www.pagalguy.com. 

PaGalGuy has this weird thing to it. It can send you through a wave of emotions in ten minutes flat. The 1st instance, when you read a happy post of someone having scored a 750, you are all geared up and you feel positive. The whole 'Of course I can do it' thing flows in you like an electric wave. Then you read the rest of the related posts. Someone used to get these 730s in GMAT Prep and ended up with an abysmal 600 something in the real test. Reading this post is frustration step -1. For some it is awakening, knowing that GMAT Prep test is not the benchmark and for some, like me, it is confusion and restlessness. 

You then desperately walk through all posts and analyze and over analyze various mock scores and what 620 in Kaplan means or what 700 in MGMAT means. Then you read about esnips and go download a few popular things hoping they will be your treasure. 

While you do all this, one thing you know for sure is - Only basics can take you there. Knowing your formulae, knowing your VA strategies, loads of practice and analyzing your mistakes is what can help you pin the devil down. 

And then there is the ultimate gyaan. You have heard it before and you will hear it everyday until you take the test - Keep your calm. Don't panic. Now this is one piece of advice I royally ignored and precisely why I am having to go through the pain of taking the exam again. 

If I had to reflect on my mistakes with all honesty, then the list would be rather short but grave: 

Quitting my job for the sake of GMAT - My plan was that the pressure of joblessness will drive me to work harder than ever before. That was the mistake. I assumed that I can't discipline myself while working. Never Ever quit when you are planning on an exam. 24 hrs are way too long and you will only end up killing all of it since so much time in hand is such a welcome change. Work pressure will force you to devote at least 2 solid hours of prep everyday whereas joblessness will make you think of all the hobbies you did not pursue and will prompt you to relax and slow down and blah! 

Panic - Life and death fear with the exam. This was a direct result of the 1st mistake. Having quit a well-paying and an 'up-and-to-the-right' learning curve at Google, I had an inherent fear of - what if this does not work out. And that was what took me down. I was so damn scared on the day of exam and I told myself so many times to not be scared that the mix was potent. I was extremely scared and extremely confident despite the fear. Through the exam I kept believing I am doing well, when I was not. (Though I still believe the algorithm for quants was fucked beyond repair!) 

Time pass/waste - Again, the root lies in the whole quitting drama. I was so overwhelmed with all the time I had in hand, and the good home food and mother's undivided attention after eight long years that GMAT just became a part of the day instead of being the day. I would wake up early, sit with my books, partly asleep and thinking of coffee. Then I would drag myself to the kitchen, have some hot coffee, stand in the balcony, marvel at the beautiful mornings and get into some weird dream world. I had no clue how the day used to pass and at 5 sharp I would be wearing my tracks and t-shirt and my i-pod and all set to go for a run! I would come back, look at the beautiful evenings and wait for it to be night time when it would be my official reading time. Grab my book, tuck myself in, read until my eyes droop and sleep blissfully thanking Marquez and Salinger! 

Too many post-exam plans - I had the tightest ever post-exam agenda. It was so precise that it shocks me now. It started from 5:30 PM D-Day when I come out of the test center up until the same day, next month! The excitement was so much that I barely stopped thinking of the good times and in fact spent long hours over the phone with friends making elaborate vacation plans! 

I am planning to re-do the entire thing. I will take it slow and go steady this time! I will not spend forever analyzing someone else's preparation and will be honest to myself. God! the rest is up to you!