I bend but I do not break.

I am copy-pasting an email I received. That's me and tonnes of my 20-something friends' lives in a nutshell. Tell me if you relate to it. :)

Being Twenty-Something.


They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going

along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things

about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start

feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but

then get scared because you barely know where you are now.



You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those

friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the

greatest people you have ever met. And the people you have lost touch

with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is

that they are realizing that too- and aren't really cold, catty, mean

or insincere- but that they are as confused as you.



You look at your job- and it is not even close to what you thought

you would be doing. Or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing

that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.



Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and

find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize

that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly

adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.


One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and

cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared

and confused.



Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past

with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and

further away. And there is nothing to do but stay where you are or

move forward.



You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do

such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet

anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you

love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you

are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting

wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.



You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk

with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to

make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a

life for yourself. And while winning the race would be great, right

now you'd just like to be a contender!



What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as

we can to figure this whole thing out.



Send this to your twenty-something friends- maybe it will help

someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion... "I

bend but I do not break."

End of a chapter.

I have taken pride in saying I am a healthy mix of a South Indian and a North Indian. No I am not a mixed breed child but I am a South Indian by descent and a North Indian at heart, cuz that's where I grew up. I have the best of both worlds, is what I'd always say to people. That's thanks to my dad moving to central India 30 years ago. I stayed in all parts of the country - east, west, north, south - but home was always the Hindi land.

Today my parents are moving out of North of India and moving down south, closer to their brothers and sisters. Yes, me and my sister now have a world of our own and my parents are growing old. They feel the need to be closer to our blood ties. My heart aches at the thought of not being able to go back to those towns which I called home in the last 24 years.

They say you never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you , leaving a part of yourself behind.

I'd love to write a few beautiful lines about all those small and big towns where I grew up but I think I am just too overwhelmed to be able to write. All I'd say is I will miss the hospitality, the easy-go attitude, all that amazing food, the colors in the fields and in the local markets. I will miss talking in Hindi like it were my mother tongue and I will miss the local festivals. I will miss the LML Scooters and I will miss the biting cold winters and scorching summers.

I will miss home.

Best friends are forever

You and me have taken joy in people's surprise by saying we've known each other for 20 years. Yes, 20 years is a bloody long time. In these 20 years, we've lived next door through all of childhood, tolerated each other  through weird stages of life like teenage and smoothly transitioned into adulthood as best friends. (Custom made best friends, as you like to put it.)

 

You called my mom once to ask her how to make Rasna and you've called me up a zillion times to ask gazillion questions - all while being next door neighbors, just a shout away. We had different best friends and different lives, unlike in movies. But you were always the constant of my life. I always took your presence for granted until one fine day when you had disappeared. And when you came back after that short act of disappearance, I just knew you are not the kinda friend one should let go of. 

 

I shout at you for silly reasons, knowing at the back of my mind that you aren't gonna go away. We fight and patch up on status messages, which I think is so cool. It saves us the embarrassment of confrontation. Hehehe. You shout on public forums about how my 'single' status surprises/irritates you. And then you cannot tolerate the thought of me dating someone. ( I can already hear what you will tell me on reading this!) You can listen to me ranting about things/people for hours and days. Just while I am convinced you are concerned, you will crack the silliest joke and make me feel like an idiot. You give me pep talk that can never go wrong.

 

And we told the entire world that we've promised to stay in the same time zone. You are on the verge of breaking that promise in the next few days. I covered up for your mistakes when we were kids. Looks like I have to do the same again, by traveling all the way and staying there till the time you are there. I never realized how far is very far, until the day you got your visa. You've said to me a dozen times already that you will be there, as always, but trust me other side of the world is a scary thing.

 

I know I have to remind you a million times to read this post and I also know you won't leave a comment because blogs are not your thing. But Sunny Boy, know that you've been my sunshine on all rainy days and my pillar when bad relationships and bad career moves were tearing me apart. You are the one person who hasn't made me feel insecure about what we are to each other, despite your steady relationships with half of the female population in town.

 

This post is a toast to us and our special bond. Much as I cringe at the thought of not seeing you for the next few years, I feel happy that you are chasing your dream in a way that leaves me beaming with pride. I know you will not find someone like me ever, but promise me that you won't substitute me with the next best thing. (The fact that you are going to the same town where your other best friend is, already makes me insecure!) Remember that I will still twist your arm when you goof up and will bore you to death over chat. :)

 

Best of luck.