Writer's block

The title makes me look like a self proclaimed writer, but I am guessing bloggers can go this far and call themselves writers too! Or maybe typists. haha

I've been meaning to write for such a long time but I dont have much to write except for a few updates here and there... so this is more like my buzzzz posts but not half as interesting I am sure. Anyway here goes it - 

1. My folks (who I stay with out here) have gone to Goa and considering they are the people who love me the most in this world (of course after my parents) I am sure they will get me some cool stuff! I am totally looking forward to opening packet after packet of gifts! 

2. I have changed my brand of smokes (damn I hope there is no one in my family who reads this blog. Like seriously!) Anyway I've moved to Marlboro Ultra Lights and I see it as a step towards healthier lungs :P 

3. I've been going to the gym regularly. I want to lose 4kgs before August i.e my cousin's wedding. 

4. Oh wedding reminds me there was this girl (we are distant relatives. Her and my sister were very close at one point in time) who was very keen on me tying the knot with her geek brother.He is finally getting married to someone else. Phew! Techie from DCE and an MBA from LBS, they thought was reason enough for me to wanna get hitched. But no! I am destined for a whole lot of messy relationships right? So I will hang on for a while. Hmph! 

5. I am in the city that has both my ex and prospectives and neither of them know I am here. I go into the city with a constant fear of bumping into them. Sucks. 

6. It was my budds birthday yesterday and I surprised her and all that. She seemed quite excited. So was I. I love her. :) 

7. I am damn bored, I am dying to write about the voter turn out being so low and the mishaps some of my people had to face with missing names, the IPL and other stuff in general. But I am so damn bored! 

OK I'll buzz off before I rub on the boredom peeps! 

Jab We Met...!

And we finally met. Me and Utopia. Her blog and mine are different in their own stead but there is something that always clicks with some people. And it clicked with us. As fate would have it, I have landed up at the same place as her and so there was no doubt that we would meet. I thought it would be like a blind date but it wasn't. She seemed like a long lost friend with whom I was just catching up after a very very long time. We have parallel lives. We are as cool, stupid, fucked up, sensitive, emotional (or otherwise) and full of vices as the other. We spoke non stop for about an hour and half at a lovely place.

 

I won't give out anything of what we spoke, for obvious reasons - the stuff's personal. But all I will say is, she is indeed my twin (though she is way prettier!) in thought and action. Talking about meeting people, I have to fit this in! I met by bestest friend (referred to as NB and Budds in this blog) last week and we spent 5 straight hours together. I din't know I had missed her so much! Also another awesome friend of mine is gonna be back to India next week and I am meeting him too.  He is one of my few 'no-nonsense'  I-love-spending-time-with'  'endless-and-meaningful-conversations' ' drinking-buddy' and 'such-an-amazing-person' friends that I have.

 

All for swearing that I wont socialize in my 'secret location!' ! Huh.

 

Anyway other updates from me!

 

I got tanned at home, in my sleep. :| it was a cloudy afternoon with pleasant breeze so I opened the huge french windows by my bed and dozed off with a book. Only to wake up with the hot scorching sun burning me and me sweating like I was running a marathon! :(

 

I am gonna spend the month of May reading Karl Marx. I have always been intrigued by him but never read extensively to have an opinion. (Provided I finish the books by Marquez, Steinbeck, Manto, Kunzru and Fyodor that are lying on my table begging for attention!)

 

OK there were a million things I thought of this morning that I wanted to write about but they seem to have evaporated. I will buzz out with this much and will hopefully be back soon.

 

Oh just btw, welcome back PP! 

CBFC Indian Rating U/A - make sure you are 16+ or are reading this under Parental Guidance.

I made use of my 2nd most fundamental right (the 1st being the right to cast my vote) after 2 full months. The right to visit the salon. Yes. As a female citizen of a free democratic country, I see going to the salon and getting some excess hair removed and getting a massage every now and then as a fundamental right (and also a duty towards fellow citizens of both sexes :P )

I strongly believe in posting stories that are for 'family reading/viewing' and are not meant for audiences that are 18+ of age. But this one experience has forced me to break the rule and post a U/A rated post.

I went to the salon today to get a 'facial clean-up.' (That's different from a facial, for all the male species reading this.) To my utter amusement and surprise, I had a male staff member to give me the 'service.' I have gotten hair cuts and pedicures by male staff at these unisex salons but never a facial service which requires you to change into their rather skimpy and ill-fitting robes. (and so sort of makes it embarrassing to lie down on a single bed with the A/C blowing you off.) Never mind, I agreed to do the ritual, get out of my t-shirt and into the robe. The guy comes in and I am surprised. I have no clue why would such a cute/hot guy work in a salon and not model for Yamaha. Or Gillette.

So he says nothing but (the ritual is all this small talk between your salon assistant and you which almost leaves the 2 of you as best of friends at the end of those 2 hours of waxing, threading, clean-up and pedicure.) "Please lie down." It was strange and sexy in a very hollywood-ish manner. His hands started working up my neck to my chin and back to my neck and this time till my cheeks and then back to my neck and to my nose and then back to my neck and to my forehead - in slow, soft and circular motions. It was as if he was testing me and my patience by not touching my temples and eyes - which are the most relaxing parts when you get a facial massage. And when he finally reached my temples and eyes - something shot through me and sent a shiver through my spine.

He then went across to the other end of the room and this time I did not trust him to come back and do the routine but instead leave me wondering if I want to say a yes or a no. But no, he went across to the other end to fetch a big white clean towel. He says "Ma'am, you are shivering." Damnit, with those fingers and the darn A/C you think I was capable of doing anything better but shiver? Never mind, I threw a smile at him with my closed eyes. I was acting like a sly cat stealthily sipping milk hoping nobody is watching!

Now was the time to remove black heads (an utterly painful process where they squeeze your life out through your nose.) and I was dreading this. (I always do - with or without the guy!) He could see the strain on my facial muscles and said "Relax, it won't hurt much." And he took charge of my nose in a way that came across as the manliest thing ever. He did the due and said - "Here, you are done!" and the sound seemed to come from almost my nose! Hang on, it was this sly guy, so close to my nose, telling me it was all done. And I held my breath and said "thank you." when I could think of a million other variants to the acknowledgement 'thank you.'

He then put a pack on my face. By now you are supposed to be so relaxed that your face just starts glowing out of the relaxation and not exactly because of all the zillion pastes they apply on you. But today, I was more strained than I had been during my Std 10 Boards! I had clenched my fist so tight all through the last 30 - 40 mins that my nails had poked into my palm. He then said "I'll be back in 15" and he left. The way I slept after that was as if I was active on that single bed with some other activity and not a facial. I was tired of all the strong musk and the fingers working across those few inches.

I woke up when I felt those fingers, again, on my neck, cleaning the dried up face pack with a wet sponge. I was praying to God that the process ended before I could self-accuse myself of mentally molesting a poor salon assistant. I am not sure if it did. Because when I saw my face in the mirror after he left, I was sure as hell glowing ten times better than one would with an afterglow.

We're only human.

I am suffering from writer's block. So publishing an old draft. I do not believe in such long posts, but since it is there, you might as well read it. :) 

She was full of life, boisterous, well above average to look at and lived in Bombay. She loved dancing, laughed like she is on dope and danced at the slightest chance she could get. She finished college and started working. She had tonnes of friends and a loving family. 

And then there was a boy. Her brother's friend. A small town boy, blessed with a very very sharp mind, extremely ambitious and had graduated from the country's elitest educational institute. She met the boy often since he had rented out the apartment that her family owned. And he was her brother's best friend. And he fell for all the things in para 1. He begged of her to marry him, she was 2 yrs older than him. She did not feel romantically attracted to him, but she dint feel that way for anyone at that point in time. So she chose the known devil instead of the one an arranged marriage would get her.

And they tied the knot. They, just ike most newly weded couples, seemed like the happiest people in the world. They shifted base to Dubai - the land of Gold - black and yellow. They minted money but missed family. And so decided it was time for him to pursue higher eductation. Not to forget the girl was doing better than the boy at work and had managed saving a lot more. 

They came back to India and he joined the country's elitest Management Institute in an uptown place in South India. She was pregnant with their first son. She lived in an apartment close to his sister's place. And he lived on campus. She was funding his higher education. 

He made new friends who took precedence over everyone and everything in his life.  There was also a girl in the new friend circle. Life's like that - a wife finds her husband's dearest chic friend as not the best thing in the world. But this girl knew she was not so petty and that she will not hate this new girl. Friends are just friends after all and she knew she had the supreme position in his life. 

But the friendship became more than just that - ot so it seemed from the many emails that Mrs. Wife bumped into. She fell sick - asthma attacks leading to steroid shots, a baby to take care of and a rocking marriage. This took 5 years of her life - straight. Sleeplessness, sickness and the baby. 

Husband and wife moved back to Bombay and so did the new girl. She even landed up a job for herself in the same organization as the boy's to add to the wife's misery.

And when she finally decided that she'd better be getting herself a new job - to keep her mind away from what's been happening and in the worst case scenario - if they were to split, she would have the means to raise her child single handedly. 

But she had sent her husband for an MBA, she was just a post-graduate and had touched number 30 as her age. Jobs weren't easy to come in Bombay. So she compromised. She started letting go of things. She shut her eyes to the obvious. She was done with arguing with her husband about what the long phone calls, emails and gifts meant. She was done with listening to the same answer - "It's nothing! She is just a friend for God's sake!" 

And the friend is now reluctantly getting married. With wife at the hosptial out of yet another ailment, the husband still decides to travel 500 miles to her wedding. Priorities. 

The wife knew her husband loved her and not the friend. But it was difficult to see it. His actions were not indicating it. May be she was thinking wishfully. She was risking it all again - she was pregnant with her second baby. And she knew with 2 children and no job, there was no looking back for her in life. She had to make peace with herself. And with her husband's friend. She knew she was jealous and reading too much between the lines. But she couldn't help it. She was but human. 

* This is a true story. The friend' marriage, they say, has not consummated. The wife is busy putting a smiling facade and taking care of 2 lovely boys. The husband, now a father, beams with pride each time he sees his sons and seems to thank his wife each time he looks at her - for being such a stoic through 8 years. 

BRB

P.S: Inspired by J 

Bhopal Chronicles

So here we are at the end of another chapter. I came here 8 months ago, with a lot of apprehensions in mind. I hadn't lived with family since I was 15 years old, so I was a lil scared. though I was glad that I'd be by myself  without a social circle harassing me and demanding my time and attention.

 

Little did I know that I'd miss my friends and the otherwise annoying acquaintances so badly. This did not mean I had enough time to read and pursue hobbies. I spent most of my time loitering with momma and going mad at these local markets where you get the most exquisite of stuff. If I were to rate my stay on a scale of ten, it would be a 7.5 (Poona - 9/10    Hyd 6/10. Other places do not need a mention.)

 

Here are some snippets from my stay -

 

Shopping - This place has no Shoppers' Stop for your air-conditioned shopping pleasure. But those lanes at Chowk Bazaar, Peer Gate. Lakherpura and New Market can rob you of your family fortune and leave you asking for more. The stuff here is dirt cheap if compared with bigger towns. Handicrafts,  footwear, garments, tapestry, home décor - you name it and you get it (in such variety that the inability to buy them all is frustrating!)

 

Food - There is this lil place called Swad Bhandar where you get the yummiest samosas and mirchi bajjis and jalebis and gulab jamuns in the world! A sumptuous brunch-ish breakfast for 4 will cost you 50 bucks. Yes fifty INR. The chaat, pani-puri, local flavors of soup, alllll the bhajiyas and makke di rotis and chhola bhatura and puri bhaaji and juice and lassi… oh God! Oh I don’t mean it is road-side food all the way! The palaces turned into hotels - Jehan Numa, Noor-Us-Subah, Imperial Sabre - they are kickass too! Just by the way, I am a vegetarian and they say I haven't lived in Bhopal if I havent tasted the nawabi kebabs. So you can imagine.

 

Friends - One and only Sebin. I bumped into him somewhere like we were destined to meet and he was my thread to sanity. Not a single soul I had here to socialize with. We've done not many crazy things if I were to compare with my Poona/Hyd etc days but my memories with him are some of the fondest. Oh him being a bassist in a local rock band also came handy. He kept me up-to-date with all the developments in the world of rock!

 

Studies - well the idea was to chillax and take GMAT. It turned out to be a bad idea. Let's not talk about it anymore.

 

Work - Worked at a start-up and got doomed financially. Learnt the most key-skills of my professional life in that period though. Also learnt that working with a bunch of smartass people at Google is bloody different  than working (read: much more challenging) with a bunch of demotivated, disinterested, passionless people!

 

Blog - I started blogging about 3 years ago and did not write more than 5 posts in a year. Then I created a new blog - this one that you are reading - when I came to Bhopal. And I managed about 135 posts in 7 months. Not bad huh? And I made some new acquaintances over blogosphere and came really close to some people whom I had known earlier. This blog was my lone source of time pass and venting out when I felt my Mom could not take anymore of my nonsense.

 

Now that I am moving on, I know not much will change in my blog - it will be the usual ranting about friends, family, myself, politics etc. But this is a nice time to thank each one of you who have frequented my blog, posted nice comments and welcomed by thoughts.

 

I am moving to a secret location - taking a 24 hour train ride (yipee! I love'em!) and landing in a new world to make a new start - for no particular reason. Just because I feel like it. So this is my last post until say 8th or 9th of this month.
 

So I will see you people soon! Keep those comments flowing. :) 

Disclaimer - Very personal-diary-ish post. Don't read if you are in the mood for some entertainment.

Chalo, I might as well write about it. 

I dont cry. I hate crying and people who cry overtly. Unfortunately I am sourrounded by these super emotional people who cry at the flick of a finger. 

I am also quite curt when I am pissed off. I do not pass false statements or make false allegations and am as fair as one can be in a sticky situation. BUT, if I am irritated I will state facts in a way that can pierce through people. Ask my best friends. 

And I did that today. With guess who? Daddy. I said something which is true but I put it in a very painful manner. Luckily, Dad wasn't there and Mom heard it. Mom is one of the super emotional people I was talking of earlier. A tear rolled down her cheek and damnit. I lost it. I knew I said something very mean. And then there was no stopping me. I cried. I cried through out the evening. I think all the emotions I held in the last 15 months came out like Niagara falls. 

Mom was shocked. This was the first time she'd seen me crying. I cried and I cried. And I slept. I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like such a disaster. My eyes had become so small and puffy and I really looked damn weird. In fact 6 hours past and I still don't look like myself. Damnit I have some super pretty chic friends who cry on a daily basis. They'd look stunning if they stopped crying I think. 

I am off for dinner with parents. My faith is reaffirmed that as long as my parents are here, I don't need to worry about a damn thing. Even if I were paralytic and cent percent immobile, I can still live with the 'jinu-smile' intact. And I will definitely sail through this patch of monetary instability. Courtesy parents and of course Sony. 

That was such a 'personal-diary-ish' post.