So it seems I've found the right word for all these posts about my lonely friend-less life.
The word is called 'Social Retard.' (Applause!!)
The citation goes - This individual has received a degree in 'Sciences of Social Impediment' and is called a Social Retard.
Before I go any further, I'd like to give due credit to the source of this word and thank him for introducing this powerful, all-encompassing word in my rather retarded social dictionary.
Yes, I am a graduate in Social Retard sciences. How does one get the degree? It is simple.
Step 1 - If you are reading this post either on a weekend or when evening has gone a few shades darker - then you already clear the entrance exam.
Step 2 - Think about the days you were busy doing something else at this hour of the day. (If you never were busy doing anything other than reading/blogging/watching tv and similar solitary acts, then congratulations! You are a bloody born Social Retard! Go get your degree printed on black with Gold.)
If you were busy some other day at this time watching a movie with friends/having coffee with them or sipping beer/watching porn/packing your bags to travel or any such exciting activity then you can move to step 3.
Step 3 - Ask yourself - "will I be doing this sometime soon? Maybe tomorrow or maybe in a week's time? If your answer is yes, then I am sorry to say you cant even get the certificate. You are socially active.
Step 4 - If your answer was no and you went in to this day-dream-ish mode, thinking of all the nice times and how you haven't had them in so long, then congratulations! You have passed the certificate course in being a Social Retard.
Behold! Step 5 is for degree holders!
Step 5 - If you are continuously thinking of the fun times long gone and of how this blog/web world is your only friend. If you identify more as 'unscrupulous hot hunk' or 'worldofmine' or 'morbidthoughts' or 'techjunkie' and similar such names then yes, you are a big social retard. If you are done and over with missing your friends and have accepted that you won't have any real offline friends to go for a drink with and your only connection with 'real' people is through the phone or facebook then woohoo! You are a graduate in Social Retard Sciences. Like me.
12 comments:
hmm... I guess i do qualify for this degree... thanks to a wonderful professional life :)
Nice commentry...thankfully I'm long way from social retardness
Do we have a convocation ceremony or something? And I've passed with flying colors. gleeee! Applaude for me ppls!
what's with all you orientals using the word retarded and retard? it's just wrong. slurs and stereotypes can really hurt. ever consider that? no, I didn't think so. ever consider that people with special needs are human beings with feelings? they deserve respect but you think it's okay to mock them with your stupid blog. yuck.
@anonymous - i completely respect (like all other Indians) people who have disabilities/challenges of any sort. The blog post, if you read carefully, is making fun of me and the likes of me who though are not physically mentally challenged, do not make full use of our time and capabilities and while away time doing unproductive stuff. So i don't see a reason why you are getting touchy. As for the word 'retard' in isolation, it is a dictionary word and NOT a slang or cuss word, so i am free to use it as per the need of the prose.
Also, how do you expect people to respect anything/anyone when you yourself discriminate as oriental and western? Cultural tolerance is the first step towards social maturity. Hope you understand that soon.
I will reiterate, the blog is NOT written in a condescending tone but is written in good humor (at my own cost!) .
Please Count me in as well for the convocataion ceremony :).
What wud have we done without the net though :)
Hhmmm.. considering that this is my third attempt at blogging (reading & writing), I could do without the certification for a while.
Striking a balance.. sigh!!
Damn, I qualify for all of them. No wonder I was called so =p
Well I know this is none of my business, commenting upon one of the comments here, but still I just couldn't hold back.
@ Anonymous,
Dude, first and foremost, if you have an opinion, say it and back it up with your name. don't stay behind the curtains and yell; just because people are listening. Yes, you may have NOT liked what Jinu has written. But be brave enough to face her and tell her that.
Secondly, as anyone can see, Jinu has not said a single word to mock any kind of disability. I'm sure she didn't even think of them when she was typing the word 'retard'. When one says 'as blind as a bat', tell me, are we insulting the blind people or the bats??
I respect your side too. But can we be a bit more respectful towards the blogger? I don't know if you have a blog or no... but believe me fella, blog is something very close to us bloggers. The least we want is Anonymous people calling it 'stupid'. Well, I really think it's you who needs to learn how to respect others' views, be courageous and take life with a pinch of salt, you can even sit with a bowl of it.
And finally, I'm not speaking in defense of anyone. These are my views, totally.
hahahah! i oscillate between the two extremes.
Looks like I am not the only one around with the identity of a social retard!!!
@Evilsense/Chappar:
Man it was pretty obvious you were like this even in the hostels!
I shall be too glad and feel privileged to preside over the function! A Nice rebuttal to the faceless Occidental. Congrats.
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