If there's a God above!

Talking about wishes... I went to Ujjain yesterday. The land of Gods. (Shiva to be precise.) No, going to Ujjain wasn't a part of the wishlist. But asking God to make a wish come true surely was! I had never asked of something to God ever, as such. I mean I did, but in the most casual ways ever. Never nagged him in my morning prayers. Not that I don't trust if God can make things come true - but I was never too convinced. For ex., I did go to the temple asking for good scores before exams but when results appeared - good or bad - they were the exact reflection of my efforts. 

Yesterday, I had this one problem while I was praying though - I din't know what language to pray in. I tried Telugu and Hindi, but the words just did not come out fine. I could not express myself. Before I realized, I had slipped to praying in English and I was doing just fine when this fear rose in me - Would he get it? It's not our language after all. In the end I convinced myself that as long as he says - "May all your wishes come true" it's all good! 

So I prayed to God for something that I cannot do anything about. I asked God to help me read the signs and give me the courage to follow my heart. I asked God to help me figure out what exactly is it that I want. Though I kept thinking through out my way that I would ask God to make my wish come true, I ended up asking God to do that which he thinks is right and help me live with it. 

I am hoping God can read my blog since he is ominpresent! God, I hope you remember me as the girl who never ever nagged you with wishes and never ever blamed you when things din't go my way. God, this is the one time I feel completely lost and helpless with the situation I am in. In case you are reading my blog (it is aptly named 'what Jinu wants') please only pay attention to this post. I will take care of everything else God, just help me deal with confusion. 

(Believing in God is a part of my New Year resolution - I am starting a little early!)