Encore. Life on rewind-repeat. Once bitten, twice shy.
They are all for me.
Something that happened last year around the same time, is happening again. That incident changed me forever. I look back and think I wish I could still be as carefree, I wish I did not doubt everyone who sends me an email after a long break and I wish I did not twitch at sms-es from familiar strangers.
I wish I could trust as easily and talk without inhibitions.
A year is a long time. A long time to change a person - for better or for worse, only time will tell. But what I already know is that the me a year ago was a better person than the me I now am - a cynical bitch.
I don't say 'sink or swim, I am diving in' to myself anymore. I am just too scared to hit the bottom again. And some people are blissfully unaware of the damage that I am left to repair.
Who will fix this mess? Or at least help me believe that it is not so bad after all.
Or is it?
3 comments:
Jinu, when you are in shit - You ARE in shit. and there's no denying to the fact or trying to sugar coat it. No, I'm not consoliong you or blowing on your wounds..but this is the raw truth.
It seems "not so bad afterall" only when u've safely gotten out of it. Till then face it. everyone has to. I'm... for the moment too, fighting with my own demons.
hope everything is alright. sorry for having vanished. sigh! still trying to put things back on track. i miss you loads. talk to you soon. lots of lurvee! muah!
The only person who can fix the mess is but yourself.. no?
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